What would you do if a six-year-old confided in you about sexual abuse? A handler's guide for parents, teachers and guardians about negotiating the emotional landmine.Early in December, Antop Hill cops registered a case of sexual assault in which a five-year-old accused her classmate.
While a case was registered, and investigations at Sion hospital proved that there had been sexual abuse, the accused was not booked since he was under seven years old. The minimum age criteria under the Indian Penal Code in which a person can be booked for sexual assault is seven.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of sexual assault cases involving children, both as victim and perpetrator. Childline India Foundation, which is supported by the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development, has received about 250 cases from within Mumbai this year. While the 2012 Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act (POCSO Act) has laid down regulations on how to interrogate both, underage victims and accused, experts say small measures on behalf of parents and counsellors can make a difference to the survivor's mental health.
Observe the child
Psychologists say that children are rarely able to understand or communicate their feelings when faced with sexual abuse. Signs of trauma - sudden tantrum, mood swings, changed sleeping habits, loss of appetite, refusal to attend school or a class they used to like earlier - tend to show up.
"Don't confront the child or ask them to recount the experience immediately, as that can be traumatising," says child psychologist Dr Zirak Marker, suggesting instead that parents observe a child's behaviour through play therapy. "For instance, we leave a child, especially younger than six, with a toy and observe how they play. If they pick up the toy and play with it normally there's possibly little to worry about. However, if the child is sitting silently in a corner, it may need help," he adds. Children should also be encouraged to express themselves through drawings.
It helps, he says, that very young children tend to forget things by the age of 6 and, with help of regular play therapy, a child can overcome a traumatic experience. However, if the child shows signs of trauma - nightmares or post traumatic stress disorder - counselling is recommended. "Counselling, either by a private expert or the school counsellor, must always be done sensitively in a safe environment, in the presence of parents," adds Marker.
Good vs bad touch
Before the age of 11, humans do not understand sexuality. "However, because we live in a depraved society, by the age of 6-7, children should be made aware of the difference between good and bad touch," says Marker. In an abused child, this should be done once the healing process is over.
But, he warns that too much awareness can cause children to become confused about touch. "Sometimes, during workshops, girls come up to me and tell me that they were inappropriately touched by their uncle. But when we dig deeper, their stories change. This may happen because of confusion with too much information," says Marker.
Habiba Kudrati, a counsellor with JBCN International School, says sex education camps are now conducted for children as young as three. "While we don't bring up the topic of sexual abuse, we encourage them to express themselves before their parents or someone they trust. They need to be able to communicate when they don't want to be hugged or touched in other ways," she adds.
Childline activist Nishit Kumar says parents need to support the child and ensure that nothing they say puts the blame on the child. Counselling should also be aimed at making the child understand it wasn't their fault, as often, children suffer from guilt believing that the attack was a consequence of their actions.
Often, the perpetrator is someone from the victim's immediate environment. In this case, it's important to establish a safe place for the abused child and create a wall between it and the offender. Talking about a 2012 incident in which a 15-year-old junior college student from Vile Parle was assaulted by first her uncle and then later her grandfather, Kumar, a child rights activist with Childline says the first step was to get her out of home and into a shelter. "In this case, the parents were not in the city when the assault happened and the child reported the crime. When they returned, she was sent back home, by which time both offenders were arrested," he adds.
The other side
Even an underage perpetrator, says Kudrati, could have been a victim of sexual abuse without realising it. "If a child displays inappropriate behaviour by touching its own or another child's private parts, it may be mirroring what someone else did to it. This is a sign parents should watch out for. This child, very likely, is also a victim here and does not realise that it is inappropriate." Child psychologists clarify sexual behaviour plays up in children above the age of 13 years and, rarely, younger. Chairperson of the Child Welfare Committee Vijaya Murthy says in most cases, those under the age of 18 are unable to understand the concept of sexual abuse. "For an accused, especially, counselling is not a one sided approach," says Murthy.
Especially, when it comes to underage perpetrators, it's important to make them realise in what way their actions have been wrong. It's once they admit and agree, can counselling begin in the real sense.
Know your rights
- Once a minor survivor states that s/he has been abused, no further questions should be asked about the incident. Police should bring the matter to the attention of the Child Welfare Committee (CWC) within 24 hours of being intimated. The CWC can then make further arrangements for the safety and security of the child if required. The underage survivor should be accompanied by a parent or relative when the statement is being recorded.
- Parents can request the police to have an NGO worker present while speaking to their child.
- Nishit Kumar of Childline, says, parents also find it extremely difficult to deal with such a situation. "At times, parents fear repercussion and refuse to file a complaint. In such cases, the NGO is required to inform the police and the Child Welfare Committee in writing," he adds.
- A female police officer, in plain clothes, has to be present while the survivor is being questioned. Shivaji Nagar police station's sub inspector Poonam Mane says, "The under-age survivor doesn't need to be brought to the police station. I have gone to a survivor's home or wherever she feels comfortable to take her statement." When the child is under the age of 14, its mother's statement is customarily taken as the primary statement. "Apart from the mother or relative's statement, we also prepare a video recording of the child's statement. If the child is younger than 14, NGO personnel ask it indirect questions to avoid trauma," she adds.
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