Book Review: Tick-tock, We’re 30

Publisher: Westland Ltd

Category: Fiction

Price: Rs 250

Pages: 402

Author: Milan Vohra

The Sarva Niketan( S.N) gang is back together after a decade, and they're all camped in pajama-wala uncle's house, whose most enduring image is that of a 'mad' dog barking its head off.

Lara Bagai of the S.N gang in Delhi is the last to turn thirty, and this ragtag bunch is here for the reunion they'd planned for when the last from their group would be hitting the big three. Like Sita calls it, the OTWT,' Oh Teri, We're Thirty!' event.

The reunion has Lara upbeat and all prepped up. But there's another pact that, sadly, coincides with this one. Made one evening when Lara was sure she was wasted, the pact had both Nishad and Lara agreeing to marry each other if they were still on the shelf by the time they had both turned thirty.

The last thing Lara would have thought then was the possibility that this could ever come true, so besotted she was with Ranndeep, her alpha male biker boyfriend. What hope in hell did Nishad, the ever so correct guy, have with that stud around? But heck, she's thirty in a few days' time. She's single. Ranndeep turned out to be a douchebag. Nishad is single too, and, worse, hasn't forgotten about the pact. Something has to be done because Nishad is "completely wrong" for her.

Bring on Perzaan. The dishy Turkish bartender and flame eater. Lara's ersatz boyfriend. For the week that the SN gang is in the house, Perzaan will play the no-nonsense, suave, deal-clincher banker. If Lara's spoken for then the pact comes undone. Or does it? Does she pull it off? Does Perzaan? Or does Nishad see through this charade? But that's only the main story; at pajama-wala uncle's house there are plenty other sideshows playing out too. Old flames are fanned and rekindled, strange pairings happen, sexual orientations get defined, and sexual dysfunctions get corrected! A full house, in short.

Then Sita foists Kalyani on the reunion team, and the latter drives the rest up the wall. Except Sita, of course. He doesn't get it. Aunty Nair, ,however, seems to know what's best for her son. Only Coconut Kumari for her Sita is her constant refrain. But, who is she? No one has the foggiest idea who Aunty is referring to. And, given Aunty's fragile mental condition, they even wonder if Coconut Kumari is for real. Then the penny drops.

Full of hijinks and hysteria, whisky and weed, food orgies and trips down memory lane, pranks and showdowns, Tick-tock, We're 30 proceeds at an amazingly brisk pace.

There is enough happening in these 400-odd pages. The characters are splendidly sketched out---from the perennially constipated Thin Rita to glad eye, Sai. Chances are that you'll have a visual profile of each one of them in your mind's eye while reading this book. High on humour and vernacular colloquialisms, you will somehow not grudge the fact that the book is a tad too long. After all, you'd still want to know who each one will end up with and how. You'll also wonder how such a disparate set of characters can be so cohesive too.

Milan writes simply and for India's first Mills and Boon author, her prose is surprisingly devoid of maudlin mush and syrupy sentimentality, though given the theme, it could so easily have gone down that road.

I hope that Oh fuck, we're forty is in the cans too. On the downside, if this book has any serious flaws, it is the way Faviyo is made to sound so permanently horny. Unnecessary.

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Getting your summer home decor right

Open flowing space works wonders during summer. So discard clutter and add life to your decor

If you put a single perfect blue vase with flowers on your coffee table, this will become the center point of your room, creating a warm inviting atmosphere. So, this summer let your imagination do the talking so far as your home decor is concerned. Think of out the box and as a first step, declutter your house. Just make sure that you do not add too many of these pieces - otherwise, this can make your room look cluttered and defeat the purpose of having an open design.

Open flowing space works wonders during summer. It gives a feeling of coolness and space too thereby making one feel lighter. Lamps, masks, flower vases, ceramic bowls can also give your home that personal touch.

If you are a keen traveller, then you can showcase your travel memories in your home. If you love those country specific memorabilia, then you can go ahead display. While displaying these, always remember less is more.

Well-chosen art is also an excellent way to make your home your own. Art adds soul to a place. And it also gives a sense of warmth and vibrancy. If you think you can't afford works of original art, then go for prints and serigraphs. When well-framed, they add much elegance to your home.

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Creative coolers for the summer

With the temperatures soaring high with every new day, coolers are the need of the hour.

In spite of the scorching heat and the bright sun burning upon us, going out is inevitable as we need to go to work and children would never refrain from going out to play. However, homemakers know how to keep them cool with the most the most innovative coolers this season.

Shikanji
It is a traditional drink which is a natural cooler. Crush mint and tulsi leaves, then add it to (sweet lime) mosambi juice and mix sugar and salt in it. Turn it in the blender for a while for the ice to get crushed and then served it cold, topped with some chaat masala.

Taal Shaans Juice
Palm is supposedly the most coolest fruit; and the best for summers as it has a lot of water content in it. Peel the fruit, grind it into a juice using a blender and mix it with the meat inside a tender coconut. The cocktail tastes wonderful.

Nutty Mango milkshake
Blend cut mangoes and chilled milk together. Add saffron and almond powder to this freshly prepared mango milkshake, and add some crushed ice. It tastes heavenly.

Homemade Mojito
Mix jaljeera powder, mint leaves, crushed ginger, lemon and a dash of amchoor. Add some crushed ice to it and shake it well. When serving, garnish it with fresh mint leaves. It's very refreshing, especially during summers.

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Here are some healthy food substitutes

Replace your unhealthy foods with these healthy snacks

Want to eat healthy but hate to give up on the taste? Here are some ideas you can use!

1. Sev puri - We all love sev puri but it is highly loaded on calories because of the fried puris and the sev. Here's what you can do to make this spicy delicacy very healthy too. Just replace the puris with cucumber slices! The yogurt and the various chutneys don't account for too many calories. The crunchiness of the cucumber may not taste exactly the same, but you wont be complaining either.

2. Pulao - Rice can also make you put on weight if eaten in large quantities. When you eat one pot rice dishes like pulao or biryani, they make you consume more rice than usual. Just replace the rice with dalia or broken wheat. This tastes good and is much healthier.

3. Bread - White flour is very bad if you're trying to lose weight. Replace white breads with multigrain ones, but if you can do that then enjoy your sandwiches in the form of wraps. Just stuff the filling in a healthy homemade roti and enjoy!

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Soak up more sunshine, women!

Sunlight missing from the lives of busy young women is making them deficient in Vitamin D, which has emerged as a major health issue among them, experts say.

Vitamin D deficiency in young girls can precipitate osteoporosis and increase the risk of fractures.

"Vitamin D is a major regulator of calcium metabolism and hence is an important determinant of bone health. Despite abundant sunshine, Vitamin D deficiency is widespread in India," Palash Gupta, senior consultant, Orthopaedics, Max Super Speciality Hospital, Shalimar Bagh, told us.

Osteoporosis is a skeletal disorder characterized by low bone mass and deterioration of bone architecture leading to increased bone fragility and susceptibility to fractures. Primary osteoporosis refers to a reduction in bone mass related to aging and menopause, whereas secondary osteoporosis results from specific diseases or drugs.

Osteoporosis is also characterized by abnormality in the amount and architectural arrangement of bone tissue.

Estimates suggest that 20 percent of women and 10 percent of men by would be osteoporotic by 2015.

Palash Gupta said: "Judicious exposure of arms and legs or hands to sunlight, typically for not more than 5-15 minutes per day, for 2-3 times per week during spring and summer is all that is required to satisfy the body's requirements."

Anoop Mishra, Chairperson of the Fortis-C-DOC Centre of Excellence for Diabetes, Metabolic Diseases and Endocrinology, said: "It is one of the important health issues in women because of lack of exposure to sunshine due to clothes and lack of outdoor activity".

Vitamin D deficiency is the cause of bone loss (osteopenia and osteoporosis) which leads to fractures, he added.

"Obesity, polycystic ovarian disease (and resultant acne, excess facial hair), menstrual irregularity and difficulty in conception are some of the other health issues facing women," he said.

According to Raju Easwaran, senior consultant, orthopaedics, Max Super Speciality Hospital, Shalimar Bagh, "women are especially prone to developing osteoporosis or weak bones after they lose the protective effect of oestrogen following menopause".

"Compounding this is the rampant Vitamin D deficiency that is seen in women of all age groups. An Indian study found that 70-75 percent of women in the post-menopausal and reproductive age groups are deficient in Vitamin D," he said.

Eswaran said women should also be concerned about Vitamin D levels for several reasons.

"There is good evidence that sufficient levels of Vitamin D (>30ng/ml) are associated with lower risk of serious pregnancy complications like pre-eclampsia, decreased chances of caesarean section and reduced incidence of breast cancer," he added.

Other diseases like rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis are also lower in women with normal vitamin D levels.

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Cats do eat more in winter

Know why your kitten asks for more food as the mercury drops and chill settles in? They too, like humans, need comfort food in the winter.

Cats eat more during the winter and owners should give their pet more food during this time, research has found.

"Cats, like many humans are more inclined to comfort eat when it is cold outside but, in their case, it is likely to be owing to extra energy they need to keep warm when out and about," said veterinarian Alex German from University of Liverpool's school of veterinary science.

German, in collaboration with colleagues at Royal Canin Research Centre in France, spent four years monitoring how much cats chose to eat.

They found that food intake increased in colder months and decreased during the summer.

During the study, the researchers put microchip on the collar of 38 cats that allowed them to take as much food as they wanted from a dispenser which only opened for them.

At the same time, this microchip recorded how much the cat had eaten and when.

The study found that cats ate approximately 15 percent less food during summer.

"People should consider the amount of food their cats need at different times of year as this can be part of helping them to maintain a healthy weight," German suggested.

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5 simple ways to help someone with dementia

By the year 2015, India is expected to overtake the US to become the country with the largest number of people with dementia, according to the Dementia India Report 2010 pre pared by the Alzheimer's and Related Disorders Society of India (ARDSI).

In other words, even if you're lucky enough not to develop dementia during your lifetime, it's almost certain that you will know somebody who does. Here are five ways to help a person with dementia.

Connect with the person
Often just finding out about a person's history can help you understand them better -and give you things to talk about.

One true story that proves this theory is about an old woman with dementia in a care home. She was always tapping on the table and irritating people, until one day someone discovered she worked at Bletchley Park during the war and helped crack the famous Enigma code. All her tapping was actually Morse code.

Make surrounding dementia-friendly
Dementia can affect perception and vision, so shiny floors look wet and slippery, or swirly carpets look like snakes. Being aware of this and looking out for potential problems can help. For example, labelling how things work -such as kettles or TVs.

Be patient with them
A person with dementia can get easily confused and this can be very frightening. Avoid showing signs of anger or frustration -give them plenty of time to speak and keep calm -this will ensure they don't feel unduly anxious or stressed.

Avoid correction them
It's natural to want to `help along' if someone keeps forgetting important facts or events, for instance finishing a sentence for them -but experience proves this can leave both parties frustrated. Try embracing what they can remember instead.

Be sure to reminisce
Short-term memory loss is often a first sign of dementia, but that doesn't mean long-term memories are forgotten. So sharing old stories from the past can still bring a smile to someone's face and make them feel like themselves.

- Daily Mirror

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Tackling depression in adolescents important

In its latest report Health for the World's Adolescents -the World Health Organization (WHO states that depression is the top global cause of illness and disability among adolescents.

Experts from the United Nations (UN) agency arrived at this conclusion after direct consultations with participants in the age group of 10 to 19 from around the world to assess the health issues that affect them most. However, what is most worrisome is the lack of mental health care facilities for teenagers, most of who suffer in silence.

Moreover, experts warn that if depression is not treated at an early age, patients in all likelihood will suffer from the illness throughout their lives.

Are we in denial?
"Depression is considered taboo in our society . It's a lifestyle disease. There is a lack of medical help available for mental health issues. Moreover, we think that depression is a disease that affects only adults. Sadly, a large number of our children are falling prey to depression," says psychologist A Sridhara, adding, "With children, the issue is identified only when it reaches the peak, as they cannot express their feelings as clearly as grown-ups do."

Teen suicide versus depression
In recent times, Bangalore has witnessed seven cases of teen suicides. After the announcement of II PUC results, three cases were reported.

What is driving youngsters to end their lives?
"Youngsters face severe competition when it comes to education. Cut-off marks for college admis college ad sions are ve ry high. They have to endure great stress to survive, which is very unhealthy . Some can't handle the pressure and take drastic steps," says S Parthan, retired professor of IIT-Kharagpur and advisor of Agastya International Foundation, Bangalore.

Fight it
Luckily , depression can be diagnosed and treated. "Parents should be sensitive enough to identify if their children are suffering from depression and provide medical help. Proper psychosocial support, combined with antidepressant medication or psychotherapy can help children get rid of depression," says psychiatrist M Kishore.

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7 Foods that help burn fat in summer

Forget fancy diets, the top flab busters can be found in your own kitchen.

Summer is here and if you have been feeling wistful over not being able to wear your bikini, it's not too late. A magazine quoted dietician Dr Carrie Ruxton as saying, "Metabolism is what converts food into energy. A slow rate means calories are more likely to be converted into fat." While exercise helps, and so does portion control, here are those foods that act as the the biggest metabolism boosters.

Apples: These are said to be nutrient-rich and contain enough fibre to keep the digestion healthy. A tip? Eating an apple just 20 minutes before your meal will make you eat lesser calories in your main meal.

Turkey: This is regarded as a good alternative to chicken as it is lower in calories and higher in proteins and nutrients. It's said that 5 ounces of turkey contains just 175 calories and 10 grams of fat.

Broccoli: Adding more broccoli to your diet can help you lose that weight as it is a low-calorie food that can help you fill up quickly. A single cup of steamed broccoli gives you about twice the amount of vitamins C and K you need in a day. It also is a very good source of vitamins B6 and B2, phosphorus, magnesium, protein and omega-3 fatty acids.

Almonds: Almonds can speed up metabolism like no other. They are also associated with with reducing cholesterol and lowering blood sugar.

Peppers: Bell peppers are great for weight loss. They can fill out any dish without adding the calories and have a small amount of fat burning capsaicin in them.

Pulses: Legumes or pulses like soya beans and kidney beans have key nutrients like iron, vitamins of B group and dietary fiber. Pulses help maintain regular bowel movement because the texture of the fibre helps it move through the digestive system quickly.

Green tea: Is another substance that can be added to the diet that can increase the metabolic rate. Green tea has EGCG in its composition. This substance helps to increase the body and the rate that the nervous system functions. It in turn increases the metabolism.

(Compiled by Ismat Tahseen)

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How to tackle your mother-in-law

Author of The Mother-In-Law, Veena Venugopal on how to deal with the other woman in your marriage

She's the most important woman in your marriage, so, sharing a tricky relationship with her can spell trouble for wedded bliss. But how do you handle your relationship with the mother-in-law?

With extreme care, caution and strategic planning, advises journalist Veena Venugopal. The Delhi-based writer spent the last year meeting women across the country, especially those locked in prolonged conflict with their moms-in-law.

Eleven of them, with names changed to protect their identity, have made it to The Mother-in-Law published by Penguin. What started out as an exercise to listen to and share funny stories about the mother-in law, quickly mutated into a platform where women, protected by anonymity, shared their anxious experiences and lessons they learnt on the way.

Venugopal -whose own MIL was "sweet enough to pitch in by searching for case studies" says the most effective advice she can offer is keep your distance.

"Research has proved that with every yard between you and your mom-in-law, the chance of your relationship with your husband lasting, improves," she says.

The first meeting
Venugopal's first story is of Rachna, who met her mother-in-law at a wedding sangeet. Noticing that she had ordered a non-alcoholic drink, "Auntyji" asked her about it, to which Rachna lied saying, she didn't drink.

"This right here," points out Venugopal, "is the first wrong step." While there was of course, no way Rachna could have foretold that this woman was her future mother-in-law, far too many women try and project a different personality the first time they meet their in-laws. "We wear a salwaar kameez or act demure, tailoring our responses to match what we think our MILs would want. We want to be accepted at that point," she adds. The other mistake young women make is to hope the blow will weaken over time. In the case of Anshika, who was told by her mother-inlaw what to expect in her marriage (she couldn't work, she agreed to it all. "We think the mother-in-law will go slack over time. But that doesn't happen and when you try and assert your self, she feels cheated because you are no longer adhering to her rules," she adds. The only way out, says Venugopal, is to assert yourself from day one and be true to who you are. "You need to let them know what you are capable of doing.

Gently, but firmly, lay down your own rules."

Emotional blackmail
Venugopal shares the exchange she personally had with her mom-in-law over the issue of wearing a mangalsutra. "`My own daughter does not wear one, how can I ask you to?' was her standard strategy. I suppose a `better' daughter-in-law would have immediately slapped on the mangalsutra and demonstrated how she was better than the daughter...I just smiled in agreement," Venugopal writes.

This, she suggests, is a good strategy to tackle emotional blackmail that's bound to come your way at least once.

"You either ignore her or agree with what she's saying so that there are no arguments. If the relationship is an equal one, you could also be pleasant but offer a tongue-in-cheek reply that sends her a message to back off," says Venugopal.

Talking about Supriya, whose story makes its way into the book, Venugopal says it took a family tragedy for her to clear a misunderstanding with her momin-law. "Now, Supriya says she is in a position to point out her mom-in-law's flaws. It may be simple things like saying, `Mum, that's not a nice thing to say' etc. But it should not take a tragedy for that to happen. If you haven't changed the equation yet, now is a good time to start."

The guy is not his family
The most important lesson to remember for those dating a man they plan to marry, is that his family needn't be like him. "Just because the son is liberal doesn't mean his parents will be cool. It's a good idea to check the lay of the land when you are in the courtship stage," she says.

Go over to his place as a friend, and observe the parents and their marriage.

"Your future spouse is likely to demonstrate their traits, and possibly reflect a similar equation in your marriage. If you don't like what you see, have the courage to ask yourself if this is what you want," she adds.

Isn't it asking for too much -the perfect guy with the perfect family?

Venugopal says no family is ideal. "But think about what you are willing to compromise on. If you are going to be locked up once the ring is on your finger, will you make peace with that? Is the guy worth it?"

The question of kids
You are married, it's four months and here comes the question you have been dreading: Now that you are settled, when are you gifting us grandchildren?

Not only is the question awkward, but an honest answer is fraught with the possibility of throwing up further complications. What if you don't want a child at the moment, or for a few years or ever?

"I'd say, immediately blame the son.

Tell her you are fine with the thought but he feels we should wait. The motherin-law is likely to fall in line. Parents don't tend to exert as much pressure on the man," she adds.

The prerequisite here of course, is that the man is on your side. In fact, says Venugopal, you must wisely choose a man who will always be in your corner of the boxing ring. "That's the sort of marriage that has a happy ending."

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Are you being ‘profile probed’?

Did your would-be employer ask if they can go through your social networking page? Some abroad even go so far as to ask for your password. Even though it's not unlawful for this request to be made, we look at what the situation is over here...

Have you been job hunting for a while now and going for several interviews in the hope that you might just hit the jackpot? You might not know it, but a potential employer might just scroll through your social networking profile as part of their evaluation process. Studies have shown that millions in India use the internet every month. With such numbers involved, it's understandable why we are prone to getting profile-scrutinised.

Researchers from Old Dominion University in Virginia found that looking at the social networking profiles of candidates to predict their on-job performance is almost equivalent to taking their personality tests for the same purpose. Even if the employers weren't doing it before, the study encourages them to go employee-profile-hunting-and-scrutinising now.
Lawyer Nitin Pradhan says, "As far as asking for passwords by employers is concerned, there is no law in India which says that it's unlawful. Under the IT Act, snooping and hacking are subject to legal suits, but if the employer has taken prior permission from an employee for his password then at the most it can only be a moral obligation on part of the employee to give the password or to not give it, nothing more to it."

If it is a government firm and you deal with sensitive information or matters of national security for example, a company can exercise power over your social networking profile if you seem to be potentially breaching its trust.

Sometimes, 'profile-probes' are crucial businesses. Arshad Ansari, who is an online clothes retailer, says, "Once, when we were done with a shoot for our first stock of clothes, we missed checking for all of our dress pieces. A model ran away with one of our outfits and modelled for another photographer. Her picture in our brand's garment went viral online. Because ours is a smaller firm, so our actions weren't that quick, but we'd keep a tab on the social networking profiles of all models, the particular picture appeared in her profile and one of my employees informed me about it with proof. I threatened the model of a legal suit and removed her from our team immediately. That's when I realised that profile-probes are crucial in our business."

There are companies that do not directly ask for passwords, Rahul Russels (*name changed), who heads a software firm, says, "I think companies would be lying if they say that they don't stalk their employees, at least software companies would be. The info about the client's IP, the business logic, the disruptions in operations or technology, the client discloses it all to a company like ours. We weren't such a tight lot initially — but employees using the company's crucial info to simultaneously do side business of their own, while using company's resources and data made us vigilant. My company's snoop dog is a young and smart lady in HR, who befriends all the employees on a social networking website, thereby keeping an eye on all their social transactions."

There have also been cases where the passwords were refused by people appearing for interviews. Lara Peter, who works in an ad agency says, "This trend is absolutely ridiculous. I have been asked for my social networking profile's password once while I was appearing for an interview for an ad agency. They said they wanted to see my friend list and have an idea about my basic social behaviour. I just refused, if at all they needed to know all that, they could've hired me on a temporary basis, and not breach my private life." However, biotechnology professor Anupama Raka says, "Surprisingly enough this trend hasn't crept into the educational arena much, but there was an instance when the question papers for final semesters got leaked in our college and leave aside the students, certain professors had been asked for the passwords of their social networking websites. I wasn't one of them. But I personally see no harm in doing so, because at least in this case, the action would've saved many professors the extra work and media offence, by sorting it out at a personal level."

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Aroma that thickens bonds

How the scent of a newborn baby has a positive impact on the mother.

In a recent study conducted on a group of women, half were mothers who had just given birth, while the other half had never had a baby, all reacted favourably when exposed to the smell of a newborn baby.

However, the researchers noticed that while the pleasure scans increased in all women, they lit up far more in the brains of the mothers. Says paediatrician Dr Uday Pai, "The study proves that the aroma a newborn emits, creates a positive impact on the mother and has a feel-good effect to it. This helps in strengthening the bond between the mother and her baby. Knowing that such small factors act as significant contributors for bonding, it becomes even more important for a mother to be absolutely tender when it comes to taking care of her baby. To ensure the best possible care, mothers should use products, which are formulated in the gentlest manner. "
Adds consultant gynaecologist Dr Sukirti Jain, "Many experts agree that not just the sight, but even the aroma of a newborn acts as a chemical bond between mother and child. Scientists have shown brain imaging studies that all women perceive baby aroma through an area in the brain called the caudate nucleus, which is in the centre of brain. Activation of the neurotransmitter dopamine in this area results in perception of the baby aroma, which encourages maternal bonding and gives a sense of security to the newborn. What experts call 'aroma bonding' promotes breastfeeding and increases the level of oxytocin — the feel-good or bonding hormone that promotes calm in both mother and child."
Gynaecologist Dr Manjiri Kawde says that constant skin-to-skin contact between a mother and her baby is especially beneficial in helping mothers overcome postpartum depression. "This also helps establish better lactation," she adds.
"Ensuring that your baby is happy is not just good parenting — research shows that your hugs, smiles, encouraging looks, sweet songs and silly games, all serve your baby in very specific ways," adds Dr Pai.

Things to keep in mind
Use a moisturiser regularly because your baby's skin tends to get dry often due of lack of pigments in the skin.
Diaper rash is very common among babies. Make sure the area is clean and dry by changing nappies often.
When stepping out, ensure that your baby is covered well.
Use mild cleansers while bathing your baby.
Ensure that your baby has adequate space for movement. Babies love to look everywhere and once they start crawling, you need to ensure that all dangerous items like detergents, medicines, electrical appliances, etc are kept out of their reach.
Even though babies might not understand everything you say, experts say that talking to them regularly boosts their brain power.

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Career-oriented girls avoid sex risk

Teenage girls and young women aged 14-19 who are focused on their careers are less likely to be sexually active, a study has indicated.

Such girls have higher levels of maturity and more confidence in their beliefs, noted researchers from University of Alabama in Huntsville.

Senior psychology student Kelly Arnold, under the supervision of assistant psychology professor Aurora Torres, monitored posts on Internet forums used by teenage girls to assess their degree of maturity and confidence related to their sexual behaviour.

Arnold then categorised them according to their attitudes about sex.

The attitudes toward teenaged girls engaging in sexual behaviour were categorised as either believing sexual activity was wrong, believing it was OK or having already become active but feeling guilty about it.

She noted that each girl's attitude towards adolescent sexual behaviour and observed what positions they took on the forums and whether they gave advice or took it.

"The more mature and confident they were, the less likely they were to be engaged in risk-taking behaviour such as sex," Arnold observed in a report on Medical Xpress website.

The decision to delay sexual activity may be a product of having a future-oriented time perspective, she added.

"If you choose to abstain, you are protecting your future goals but you may have as a result some negative pressures right now" due to peer pressure and media portrayals of sex, she said.

According to Arnold, the definition of what constituted sexual activity among this age group was very narrow and knowledge of the risks associated with any sexual contact was limited.

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Pocket-friendly ways to spruce up your wardrobe

All of us dream of giving our wardrobe a makeover, but that isn't exactly light on your pocket.

You don't have to go all out and splurge on new clothes. TOI lists some thrifty and easy ways to spruce things up in your wardrobe...

You don't have to go out and shop if your old pants don't fit. Whether they are tight or loose, just take them to a tailor and get them altered to your liking. You can even get your jeans tapered down to make them look trendy.

Evaluate your wardrobe and figure out what you really need. Buy a few new pieces that you can pair with what you already have. A few new items can freshen up your wardrobe.

Add a belt to bring a touch of style to a simple outfit. They are available in different materials, colours, sizes and shapes to suit any outfit.

Reinvent your heels by adding a satin bow or crystals. You can even add a studded or patent leather cuff to give it an edge.

That pretty top ruined by a colour bleed in the washing machine? Don't throw it away; instead get it dyed into a different colour of your choice. You may have to pick a dark shade so that the colour patch is not obvious.

Replace regular buttons with studs or buttons of different colours and sizes. Replacing a boring white button on a shirt with a bead or an oversized star-shaped button will make it look new.

Take some time off one day and try out different combinations with the clothes you already have. Call a friend over to help you decide. You will be surprised at how you can freshen up your look just by mixing and matching outfits.

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Watching porn may lead to divorce

Watching porn may be detrimental for your married life as this leads to people accepting extra-marital affairs as a "normal and rewarding" thing - leading to divorce.

According to a study, the more a person watches porn, the more likely he/she is in a state of accepting extra-marital affairs.

"If pornography consumption leads to more positive extra-marital sex attitudes as the results suggest, porn may be a contributing factor in some divorces via extra-marital sex behaviour," the researchers emphasised.

To prove their point, researchers used data from 551 married adults collected by the General Social Survey in the US.

Participants were asked questions like, "Have you seen an X-rated movie in the last year?" and "What is your opinion about a married person having sexual relations with someone other than the marriage partner?"

"Porn consumption was associated with more positive subsequent extra-marital sex attitudes," the researchers were quoted as saying in a Huffington Post report.

The study appeared in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture.

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Left-handed people have better sex

Are you a lefty? This news would get you off your feet as according to a latest global sex survey, left-handed people are 86 per cent more satisfied in bed than right-handed people.

In a survey of 10,000 people, 86 per cent of left-handed people reported that they were 'extremely satisfied' as compared to only 15 per cent of right-handed people.

Keeping the results in mind, a Swedish intimate lifestyle products company LELO, that did the survey, has developed a new sex toy especially designed for the lefty.

Named 'DEXTRUS', this is the first vibrator that claims it would increase your sexual pleasure as well as make you smarter.

The sex toy is shaped like a stress ball and used similarly.

"When the user squeezes the ball with their left-hand, vibrations are sent up the arm, stimulating the right side of the brain," LELO said in a statement.

Left hand clenching (right hemisphere activation) pre-recall in superior memory and makes you smart, the survey added.

Use the toy in the bedroom to tap in to the left-handed sexual mentality, the creators were quoted as saying on news.com.

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Ignore these often-given dating advices

Want to ace the dating game? Here are 10 oft-given advices that you should ignore

Your gang of buddies means well, but truth be told, their carefully thought out advice — you'll figure in the long run — is not quite helpful. Relationship experts cull out 10 bad dating advices that you must never follow.

1. Wait for Mr Right: If that's the advice you buy into, then be ready to keep waiting. By the time a woman hits her third decade, she has had enough time to get to know herself, what she is looking for and how to identify red flags. What's the difference between settling and compromising? When it comes to marriage, what can we live with, and what can we live without? How long does it make sense to hold out for someone better — who we may never find, and who may not exist — when we could be happy with the person right in front of us? It's okay if you don't find Mr Right (it's a myth, by the way), go for Mr Okay (if he loves and treats you with respect, that is).

2. Never accept last minute dates: It's Wednesday afternoon. You have no mid-week plans yet (except maybe a yoga class). And the guy you just started dating calls. He was given passes to a private show of a movie you really want to watch. But it starts in three hours. Do you really want him to know you had no plans? Won't it seem desperate to accept a last-minute offer? The idea that a woman shouldn't accept a lastminute date offer is outdated. While you shouldn't be always-available (read: over eager) to get tossed into the 'sure-thing standby' category, there's nothing wrong with accepting a same-day invitation from someone you are interested in seeing. You don't want to give the impression that you're not keen.

3. You cannot call for at least two days - it's the rule to follow: Two days, three days, a week. If you call too soon — or too late — you will blow the whole thing. In the times of social media, and smart phones, is it really easy to pretend to stay out of touch? Of course, not. In fact, for starters, it's always nice to send a 'thank you for a nice time' message, no later than the next morning. That communicates your interest and he/she is likely to reciprocate if the feeling is mutual. That said, there is nothing wrong with calling in to say hello, occasionally. Dating should be fun and not make you feel like you are enduring the partnership. So, instead of waiting for what you want, take the lead to set the precedent for what you expect from a new guy, so it's reciprocated.

4. Wait until the third date to have sex: Advice such as don't wax your legs so you don't let things get too far is another way of saying, don't have sex too soon. This is the same logic that generally goes together with 'you shouldn't have sex until the third date'. But, now, hang on: What if you do let it go "too far" sooner than that? Don't get too caught up in those calculations. Instead, wait until you trust him/her. And indulge in intercourse, only if it is mutual. Don't give in to pressure. If he/she is good at heart, they'll respect your decision.

5. Ditch him if he goes dutch: Interestingly, studies show, many women still prefer that the man pays for the first few dates, especially if he was the one who initiated the date. But if he asks to split the bill, it doesn't mean you should break up. After all, he could be struggling financially in this economy, which we can all relate to. Just because he didn't pay for the entire meal doesn't mean he didn't want to. Besides, what is wrong with pitching in? Aren't you doing well for yourself? Or are you looking out for Mr World Bank?

6. Eat less when you are with him: You don't want to look like a greedy glut by ordering every third dish on the menu, do you? While that would be weird to watch, you don't just want to settle for a bowl of leaves either to show him what a light eater you are. Get over your hang up. A woman should order whatever she wants. In case he is paying, you may want to stay within a price range to be polite.

7. No spark, no second date: Love at first sight usually fizzles after the initial fire cracker. You need to be patient and let it evolve if you want it to last. So it is always worth going on a second date. There are too many factors standing in the way of seeing clearly when we first meet someone, making it hard to be objective. Everyone has ghosts in their closet, so we tend to stereotype and have the tendency to stop a relationship with potential before it starts.

8. Maintain some mystery: Trying to be mysterious instead of true to yourself means your partner is getting to know someone you're not. While narrating your life story on the first date isn't a great idea, waiting to reveal some less than flattering details after the relationship is somewhat solidified isn't being dishonest either. Be natural and honest.

9. Bad pick-up line? Back away: Would you have the courage to approach a stranger who caught your eye? What you would say to strike up a conversation? Not so easy, is it? While clever pick-up lines can come easy to some men, it doesn't mean you want to date any of them. Consider this, an awkward or tongue-in-cheek line probably means the guy is interested — but just a little shy.

10. The best way to get over someone is to date someone else: Before you jump into bed with someone else, make sure you know why your last relationship didn't work before starting your next one. And you need to find closure before you move on. Most people say goodbye when they're angry. Instead, wait a while to talk about your relationship, your regrets and wishes for each other's future. Always part on a good note.

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Recipe: Kuttu ki kadhi

A yoghurt and buckwheat flour curry with dumplings
Preparation time:20 mins
Cooking tome:30 mins
Serves:4

Recipe Ingredients:
- 1 ½ cup Kuttu ka atta (buckwheat flour) - 2 cup Yoghurt - 1 large potato cut into small dices - 1 tsp cumin seeds (jeera) - 2 green chilies finely chopped - Desi ghee (clarified butter) or groundnut oil to fry - 2 cup water - Rock salt (sendha namak ) to taste

Recipe Method:
Mix the potato dices with 1 cup kuttu ka atta and ½ tsp salt. Add 2 tbsp water and mix well to make pakoras (dumplings). Heat sufficient oil in a wok or kadhai to deep fry the dumplings. Put marble sized dumplings in the oil and deep fry till light golden.
Mix the yoghurt and ½ cup kuttu ka atta with 2 cup water and mix well.
Heat 1tbsp oil in a pan and add the cumin seeds. Allow to splutter and add the chopped green chilies. Saute fot 1 minute and add the yoghurt mix. Bring to a boil stirring continuously. Reduce the flame and allow to simmer for 8-10 mins. Add the potato dumplings and simmer for 3-4 mins. Add salt to taste and serve garnished with coriander leaves.

Source: www.pankajbhadouria.com

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Simple tips for healthy skin

While some women are blessed with clear, healthy skin, not everyone is so lucky. But with a with a conscientious regime, it isn't that difficult to get and maintain healthy and glowing skin.

- While your body needs water to stay hydrated, so does your skin. Drink at least 10 glasses of water daily. This will flush out toxins and make your skin healthy from within.

- No matter how fit you think you are, exercising is a must. When you work out, blood starts flowing faster, carrying more oxygen to the skin. Sweating flushes out toxins that block pores and cause acne. Exercising is also a great way to fight stress, which is known to wreak havoc on one's skin.

- Exfoliating once a week is a must in order to remove dead skin. And don't just stop at your face. Use a body exfoliator, too.

- Try and avoid processed foods, junk and street food since these do nothing good for your body or skin. Stick to fruits and green vegetables, which are packed with fibre, vitamins and minerals.

- Moisturising is an absolute must if you want healthy skin. Moisturisers restore the skin's complexion and elasticity.

- No matter how cloudy you think the day is, using a sunscreen is an absolute must. Skin damage caused by the sun's harmful rays include fine lines, wrinkles, skin darkening and pigmentation.

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Cool your heels in pool sliders

Those ugly shoes you wore by the poolside in the 1990s are back in a glamorous garb this year.

And this time around, they tick practically every trend box. Pool sliders are flat-soled, making them a sensible choice for summer. A padded sole means more comfort and less strain on the feet. They have a good balance of a sporty and androgynous feel. They are unisex, with trendy options for men and feminine pastel ones for the girls. And the options currently available in stores can be worn to the pool... and anywhere else!

What to look for

- Pool sliders with a padded strap provide extra comfort
- Black, navy and blue are the safest colour choices in pool sliders. Bolder options include embellished and sequinned pairs.
- Sliders with socks look great on guys
- A metallic pair would make a surprising clubbing accessory

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Book Review: The Country is Going to the Dogs

Book title: The Country is Going to the Dogs
Author: Anurag Mathur
Publisher: Rupa Publications
Pages: 168

Society's constricted notion about women and sexuality is portrayed through the story of a seventy-four year old man who turns sleuth when the sex siren of sin city, Miss Fifoo goes missing, in Anurag Mathur's latest 'The Country is Going to the Dogs'.

The author of 'The Inscrutable Americans' who has spent three years in the United States yet again comes up with a theme which grazes the cultural conflict between the two societies, which according to him is the "clash between our conservative, traditional upbringing and the new India." Currently working on a book about the dilemma of today's young couples, Mathur has been most inspired by P.G.Wodehouse and the works of Joseph Heller.

Mathur's novelties are pun intended and the humour is subtly incorporated though it tends to stretch a bit at the end where you no more care about Miss Fifoo going missing and just want to confront the protagonist, Radhey with his double-standard thinking and his incessant moral policing. Radhey feels disgusted with women wearing tight clothes but is a promiscuous man himself reflecting the widespread mentality of Indian men at some level. The author avers, "We tend to look at women as either sisters or Sita. For any woman outside that, there is a predatory kind of barely disguised passion."

On being asked if he thinks the Indian society can ever progress towards liberalism as subtly hinted in his novel, he says, "We're being dragged into liberalism by the forces of modernity. Films, television, the Internet, the media in general, travel, industrialization, increasing affluence and the spread of education, are changing us in ways we can barely comprehend, much less control. There are repeated violent backlashes, but the changes are irresistible and irreversible. There are too many modern people today. India will cope."

He draws inspiration for characters "partly from reality and mostly from imagination. When I meet people, I often ask the question, 'How would this person behave in a different situation'. It's not unique to me; it's a writer's disease." Consequently, the novel manages to highlight interesting characters from the poetic pimp who's an English honours graduate to the resourceful journalist Anwar who gets things done swiftly. However, Radhey Radhey's character could have been brought out better by illustrating his transformation rather than his prejudiced thinking solely. He doesn't seem to be benefitted by the experience he undergoes whilst stepping out of his comfort zone and interacting with a different strata of the society.

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Nashik’s most popular book treasures

Nashik is home to some very well-stocked and equally welcoming libraries. But where have all the members gone, and why don't the libraries have more takers?

In light of one of Nashik's oldest private libraries approaching the twilight of its life, here's a look at where the city's best book collections lie...

Busy Books
One of Nashik's oldest private libraries, Busy Books in D'Souza Colony, is likely to pull down its shutters. Once teeming with children who'd devour the comics and book collection, the library is no longer a particularly popular hangout. "We used to have more than 700 members, with people coming even from 30 kms away. Now we barely have 70," rues Ramesh Iyer, who founded the library 23 years ago. "It became an institution of sorts. I once had youngsters at a wedding in Pune come up to me and tell me how much they loved the library. I didn't remember them, but they knew me," he recalls. His collection is now 4,500 books strong, and includes everything from Mills & Boons to Thomas Hardy, the biography of Tipu Sultan to Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Iyer blames the ceaseless use of Internet and gadgets for the children's absence from the library. "They also have too much academic pressure," he believes. That's why he is planning to target mainly senior citizens now. "One thought I have is to shift the collection to a room in my home. Children can come on the weekends if they want to. I won't charge anyone any money, it'll be a free library," says Iyer, who plans to donate about 1000 of his books to an old age home cum hospital in Vashind. But the book-lover is reluctant to let go of the library, and hopes to find a way to restore the place to its former glory.

Carvi Resource Library
Ajit Barje and his wife Manisha own Carvi Resource Library on Nashik Road. Hidden away within a residential building, the library focuses on the environment and nature conservation. They started building their collection of books five years ago to encourage people to read and know more about nature. Apart from a 5000-book collection, which includes general fiction and non-fiction, the Barjes also stock and sell books from non-commercial publishers such as National Book Trust and Children's Book Trust.

About two years ago, the Barjes became the first and only individuals to partner with the British Council library. "We take care of all their memberships for the online academic library, which has a collection of 80,000 ebooks and 14,000 e-journals," reveals Barje. Ideal for students above Class XII, doctors, chartered accountants and other professionals, the membership costs `1,100 per year. Currently the collection contains academic books about subjects ranging from agriculture to military studies, but Barje reveals that the library may also make their collection of fiction available online soon.

Sarvajanik Vachanalaya, Nashik
Run by a charitable trust, this government supported library lays claims to several superlatives. Set up by the British in 1840, it is Nashik's first, oldest and largest library. Spread across several stories and over numerous rooms, the impressive collection of 1,75,000 books includes English, Marathi, Hindi and Sanskrit books. "We also have rare manuscripts and other books that are 1700-1800 years old," offers librarian SS Vaidya, who has been working at the Shalimar library for almost 30 years.

Over the past four years, the library has been undergoing modernisation. "We have computerised our catalogues and use barcoding. We have also started giving our members smart cards," says Vaidya. The large steel cupboards lined up in neat rows contain everything from historical biographies to Hindi translations of the Harry Potter series. The collection is updated regularly, and you're very likely to spot the latest John Grisham sitting next to a 30-year-old lovingly maintained leather bound copy of Shakespeare's plays.

Annasaheb Murkute Public Library and Study Hall
Managed and maintained by the charitable trust it is named after, the library's infrastructure and collection of books comes from the Nashik Municipal Corporation. Set up 18 years ago, the library and reading room tucked away in Sharanpur Road's Pandit Colony offers six-monthly memberships, and is ideal for students preparing for competitive exams. Perhaps it is its academic bent that has ensured that memberships come pouring in every term.

"Membership gives the students access to the collection of 20,000 books, half of which are academic in nature, periodicals, newspapers, as well as a guidance counsellor who comes in twice a week. The psychologist offers advice regarding their career choices as well as any other problems they need to discuss," explains librarian Anand Jadhav. The library, which is closed only on national holidays, is also planning to set up computers as well as an internet connection for the use of members.

Treasure Island
It's possible that this charming two-storied library has stolen some of Busy Books' thunder. Founded by Sangeeta Upadhyay and her husband in 2002, after the latter returned with a postgraduate degree from the USA, the library has a larger collection and also a presence on the Internet with a dedicated website as well as a Facebook page. "That helps members check if a particular book is available with us from the comfort of their home," explains Upadhyay, who also offers to customise plans to suit the customer.

However, this Mahatma Nagar library has also noticed a sea change in the number of children who visit. "Parents are keen on enrolling children in activities like dance, music or a sport. They aren't encouraging them to read. They don't realise, but that's an equally important habit, essential for their overall development. If they bring their kids along to the library, they can select a book of their choice. It will help them improve their vocabulary too," she says. Apart from an interesting collection of children's books, the library also stocks Marathi and English non-fiction, philosophy, Indian fiction and academic books.

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11 Signs you're melting her heart

It is often said that figuring out women is close to impossible. All their signs are obvious yet unbelievably subtle. So, how do you know if she's into you? Here are 11 signs to tell if that girl who melts your heart feels the same way about you...

1. Nothing is more important than you
She responds to your texts, pings, tweets, social-networking chats and emails in less than an hour. Your phone calls are never ignored without a long sorry message.

2. She repeats the phrase "Someone like you"
Either her description of Mr. Perfect is someone very similar to you or she just admits that she wants "someone like you" over and over again.

3. Her friends are now your friends
If a girl likes you, her friends know. Hence they try to add you on your social-networking page or meet you, but none of her girlfriends are ever allowed to carry on a conversation with you for more than five minutes.

4. She is always One step too close
Whether you're sitting at a restaurant or you're walking on the streets, she is always that one step too close with her hands brushing yours.

5. She is there for you no matter what
Doesn't matter if it's mid day or midnight, sober or drunk, if you call, she will answer and talk. She may have to sleep to look fresh for the biggest moment of her life tomorrow, but she'd rather be talking to you.

6 Your ex-girlfriends are her best and worst topics
She wants to know everything about your ex-girlfriend so she can determine what you like and don't. But she also tells you why you're so much better off without them and picks on them constantly.

7. Everything about you is a big deal
Be it your birthday, your parents' wedding anniversary or even a promotion at work, she is overjoyed for you. She always lets you know how your happiness makes her happy.

8. She always has a smile for you
When you're having an awfully bad day, she will do everything she can to make you smile. She will not rest until she knows you're OK.

9. She makes sure everything is Perfect
If you make plans to meet, she re-confirms thrice because she wants to know for sure you'll be there. When she shows up five minutes early, she'll be dressed to perfection. Even if you're meeting her at 2 in the morning, she'll make an effort to look good for you.

10. She has her jealous moment
If you tell her about this girl you believe is pretty, you will find an obvious change in her tone. She will then proceed to give you an hour's lecture about anything and everything she can find wrong in that girl.

11. Every word you utter matters
She not only listens carefully to everything you say, but she remembers the tiniest details from every conversation you've ever had. Don't be surprised when your birthday gift is something you mentioned once in a drunk conversation in the middle of the night three months ago.

(Contributed by Poornima Baskar)

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Happy couples sleep only an inch apart

Do you cuddle your spouse or inch away from her to the other side of the bed in sleep? The position in which you sleep with your partner reveals a lot about the relationship strength.

Partners who sleep less than an inch apart are far more likely to be happy, research shows.

The happiest couples are those who sleep face to face while touching.

"Over 90 per cent of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68 per cent of those that did not touch," said Richard Wiseman, a psychology professor at University of Hertfordshire in Britain.

The study, involving 1,100 people, said that nearly 42 per cent of couples sleep back to back.

People who sleep very close to their partners are more likely to be extroverts.

The study also found that people who lie curled up are likely to be indecisive, anxious and sensitive to criticism.

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Recipe: Strawberry coconut ice cream

There is no match for good home made ice-cream. This has the creamy taste of coconut milk enhanced with strawberries.
Preparation time:30 mins
Cooking time: 20 mins+ chilling and freezing
Serves: 6-8

Recipe Ingredients :

- Double cream 300ml - Golden caster sugar 4 tbsp - Coconut milk 300ml - Vanilla extracts ½ tsp - Sweetened dessicated coconut 150g, plus extra to serve

Recipe Method:

Beat the double cream with half of the sugar until soft peaks form, then stir in the coconuts milk, vanilla extract and dessicated coconut. Divide the mixture into two, and keep chilled.
Process the strawberries with the remaining sugar to make a smooth puree, and then stir this into one of the coconuts mixture. Line a deep square tin (approx 18 x 18cm) with greaseproof paper. Pour the white mixture into the tin and freeze. When almost frozen, pour the pink strawberry layer on top and freeze. Remove the ice cream from its container, sprinkle with dessicated coconuts, and serve in slices.
Tip to make the turning out process easy and to keep things neat and tidy, use two bands of greaseproof paper, each the width of the sides, arranged in a cross shape. If your container has a loose-fitted base, this makes things even easier.

Source: www.pankajbhadouria.com

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Table manners everyone should have during meals

Here are some table manners people should make sure they have during any meal.

Etiquettes and good table manners are very important for every person, not just when you are going out for a meal, but also for every bite you have at home. Here are some dinner table essentials and manners that every person must have -

1. Wait for the host or the main person to invite you to the table. Do not barge in the dining room and be seated without any notice. If you are at home then it is okay, but never otherwise.

2. Use the napkin! Put it on your lap or insert it on top of your shirt to avoid spilling food over your clothes.

3. Use the right cutlery, and use it! Do not eat out of your hands when you have gone for a dinner party or for a professional meet. While some traditions do have this custom, it is avoidable otherwise. Use a fork, spoon and knife whenever necessary.

4. Know how to use all the cutlery. Mostly the one placed outside will be used for the first course. So start with the big spoon on the outside for spoon and work your way in with every course.

5. Be polite. Use words like please and thank you before and after passing food around the table or asking for something. Don't talk too much while eating and don't put your elbows on the table.

6. Don't take big bites, take smaller bites and avoid chewing with your mouth open.

7. Cross your fork and spoon on the plate and place your napkin besides your plate to tell people that you are done eating.

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Hand grip can decide your true age

How good your grip is as you shake hands with someone is the most crucial tool to predict your true age.

According to new research, the strength of a person's grasp may also be one of the most useful ways to measure speed of aging.

"Hand-grip strength is easily measured and data on hand-grip strength now can be found in many of the most important surveys on aging worldwide," explained Warren Sanderson from the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis (IIASA) in Vienna, Austria.

IIASA researchers Sanderson and Serguei Scherbov showed that hand grip corresponds to other markers of aging such as people's future mortality, disability, cognitive decline, and ability to recover from hospital stays.

For their research, Sanderson and Scherbov reviewed findings from over 50 published studies that focus on people of all ages around the world.

They found that a 65-year-old white women who had not completed secondary education has the same handgrip strength as a 69-year-old white women who had completed secondary education.

"This suggests that according to a handgrip strength characteristic their ages are equivalent and 65-year-old women ages four years faster due to lower education attainment," Scherbov noted.

The study has been published in the journal PLOS ONE.

Using a physical test like hand-grip, the researchers can identify differences in the aging process between population groups that may not otherwise become apparent.

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Is washing your hair too often okay?

Experts talk about tackling greasiness and how often it is okay to wash your tresses

It's certainly hot and you're definitely sweating it out while commuting to work, at the gym or even at home. These increased levels of perspiration might make you feel like washing your hair every day. Experts tackle common questions that you may have about this predicament.

Is a daily hair wash okay?
It's not necessary to do so, feels city cosmetologist Dr Sama Rais. "Preferably not everyday as shampoos have harsh chemicals and can remove the essential oils from the scalp, causing an over-drying of the scalp. Thrice a week is good enough. Even if you perspire, just pour plain water on the hair. If your hair suffers from Hyperhidrosis (problem of excessive sweating), you may have to wash everyday. But use only a mild shampoo, which is suitable for to your hair," she says.

Overcoming dandruff issues
Dandruff and an itchy scalp is probably one of the biggest and most common offshoots of the sun playing havoc on hair. Says cosmetologist Dr Jaishree Manchanda, "There are two types of dandruff, oily and dry. Oily dandruff is dangerous as its eats away the pigment of your hair, while dry dandruff falls off. The former can give rise to numerous problems like pimples, pigmentation, etc, as dandruff on the scalp prevents blood circulation." She also advises staying away from using heavy oils. "If you have oily skin, just use a lighter oil, like olive oil, and massage it for 15 minutes, followed by a hot towel treatment, then wash it off. Home-based treatments include putting ginger juice on the scalp. Leave it overnight and wash it off. Also, wash hair every alternate day with a mild, anti-dandruff shampoo. Eating green vegetables like palak and methi helps the hair," she adds.

Using henna, a myth
Henna actually dries the hair and most stylists will tell you should not use it, saysa Dr Rais, adding, "Henna makes the hair more porous and can can turn hair brittle. Instead, use a good conditioner, which has a sunscreen or even a hair serum."

How to use hair serums
Hair serums improve the texture of the hair and untangle it, leaving it softer. They are perfect for that dry, frizz that summer bestows. Anyone can use it but there are rules to follow. "If you use too much, the hair can look oily, so, take only a few drops on the fingertips and apply on the hair, not scalp," says Dr Manchanda, adding, "Look for products that have argan oil as well as those with walnut and almond oil. Avoid those having silicon. After you have used a hair serum, don't use a spray after that."

Tips for healthy hair
- Trim away damaged ends of the hair, especially if they are frizzy.
- Wear a hat, scarf or peak cap (not too tight) to protect hair from damaging UV rays.
- Use a hair sunscreen if you are going out between 11am and 4 pm as that is when the sun's rays are harshest.
- Always use a little conditioner on the hair before you go swimming.

Thinking about a hair spa?
States naturopath Nirmala Shetty, "Go natural when it comes to a hair spa. Look for nutrients in what nature provides us. For instance, grind hibiscus into a paste and apply on hair. It darkens and strengthens hair roots. Methi (rich in iron and darkens hair) and neem (antibiotic and has germicidal properties) also increase hair strength. Aloe vera is a powerful antioxidant and can tackle scalp allergies and boils. It is also a great hair strengthener. Avocado is full of antioxidants and is especially good for those who have coloured hair."

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5 foods to keep your eyes healthy

Staring at your gadgets, computer as well as television constantly can harm your vision. Make sure you include these foods in your diet to improve and protect your eyes.

Spinach: Loaded with vitamin C, beta carotene and large amounts of lutein and zeaxanthin, spinach contains nutrients that absorb 40 to 90% of blue light intensity and as a result, act like sunscreen for your eyes. Have it as a side vegetable with dinner or saute it in an omelet.

Carrots: Rich in beta carotene, an antioxidant that helps reduce the risk of macular degeneration and cataracts, carrots are the most recommended for improving your eyesight. Have them raw as a part of your veggie salad or with a curd dip.
Eggs: According to experts, the egg yolk is a prime source of lutein and zeaxanthin as well as zinc, that also helps reduce your macular degeneration risk.

Almonds: Research suggests that almonds are filled with vitamin E, which slows macular degeneration. A handful of almonds are said to provide about half of your daily dose of vitamin E.

Sweet potatoes: Containing beta carotene, sweet potatoes help promote healthy vision and also help the eyes to adjust to low levels of light at night, according to studies.

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10 Things never to say to a woman

There are few guarantees in life, but this much we can say with certainty: The sun rises in the east, death comes to us all, and you will -- at one time or another -- suddenly find yourself in the midst of a blazing fight with your girlfriend without even realizing it.

Many of us have been there. One minute you're having a conversation, maybe a minor argument, but that's OK; it's all under control. Then you say something -- a word or passing comment, something relatively harmless, or so you think -- and it sets her off. As soon as it leaves your lips, the air changes, and there's no easy way back.

There are some things men should never say to their women -- conversational land mines that appear insignificant on the face of it, but are anything but. The good news is that we know, for the most part, what they are. Many men have suffered before you. It would be wise to heed their counsel.

1. "Are you really going to eat all that?"

Your girlfriend is, by definition, as light as a feather and nimble as a ballerina. To so much as whisper a hint of the notion that she might be, you know, otherwise, is to risk paying a price as heavy as you suspect her to be. In fact, avoid the topic of food altogether if you can. Eating is an emotional, often obsessive business for women, and occasionally it's an actual disorder. It's tied up with their identity, their self-image, their fantasies. So the answer is, yes, she's really going to eat all that. All that ballet must have given her an appetite.

2. "B*tch"

The B word is like the N word: Unless you've been appropriately oppressed, you don't get to use it. You might be able to pull off an ironic Snoop Dogg-style "beeeyatch," so long as you're smiling as you say it. But to say "b*tch" with any kind of intent is to pull the pin out of a grenade.

3. "My ex used to ... "

Anything you say with the words "my ex" in it will be held against you in a court of law, as it should. Of course it's natural to compare your girlfriends, but keep it to yourself. There are inside thoughts and outside thoughts. This belongs firmly to the former category.

4. "You always do that"

One sure way to escalate a minor tiff into a nuclear showdown is to use words like "never" and "always." They're too sweeping to be true, so you'll not only upset her, but also give her the opportunity to prove you wrong and seize the higher ground. And it tends to drag every other argument you've had into your present one, which is like rehashing all the worst parts of your relationship all at once.

5. "You sound just like your mother"

Don't compare her to her mother. Or her sister, for that matter. You don't know those people like she does, and you don't know the full complexity of their relationships. And anyway, everyone wants an independent identity, separate and distinct from their family members.

6. "Yeah, she's hot"

Chances are she lured you in with an innocent question, like, "Do you think she's cute?" shrugging her shoulders like it wouldn't matter either way. But don't be fooled. You must lie quickly and reflexively. Whether it's a girl in a magazine, a Facebook friend, a waitress -- whoever -- the answer is always no. In fact, you win extra points for casually finding fault in her the closer you look. Watch your girlfriend light up as you say, "Is it me, or is her nose a bit weird?"

7. "What's up with your hair?"

Her hair looks great and it suits her perfectly. She's allowed to have a bad hair day, but you're not allowed to notice. For girls, hair isn't just hair.

8. "Relax"

The thing about "relax" is it dramatically reduces the chances of her relaxing. The same goes for "chill" and "calm down." Here's an alternative: "I can see how you would feel that way." It takes a Zen master to actually use it in the heat of combat, but it's there if you need it.

9. "Is this your time of the month?"

Even if it is, you're not to mention it. Your role is to pretend that her menstrual cycle has no effect on her tendency to shriek and stamp and then burst into tears for no reason whatsoever. In this matter, you must occupy the high ground and show pity. Indulge her delusion that she is not in fact deranged by hormones and that she's making a valid point. The moment will pass.

10. "I love you"

I know what you're thinking. This is supposed to be the magic pill, the cure-all, the instant fix. But the thing about the L word is that it sends women into a heightened sense of awareness. As soon as they hear it, they can tell whether or not you mean it. Misuse the force and it may destroy you. Or as the saying goes, if you play with fire, you might get slapped in the middle of a restaurant.

Content courtesy: Men's Life Today, Global

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On a retrospective journey with Aparna Sen

The 9th edition of the recently concluded 10-day long Habitat Film Fest 2014 in Delhi, organised a retrospective of actor-director Aparna Sen whose contribution to the world of Indian cinema has been beyond exemplary.

Parama (1984), Sati (1989), Yugant (1995), Mr and Mrs Iyer (2002), The Japanese Wife (2010), Iti Mrinalini (2010) and Goynar Baksho (2013) were some of the movies picked from the director's rich repository of works and screened at this year's film fest.

In an exclusive chat with TOI, the 68-year-old veteran filmmaker with an ageless smile shares interesting anecdotes about her critically acclaimed movie, 'The Japanese Wife', reveals her love for Latin-American literature, explains why she hasn't had a chance to adapt any Tagore novel into a screenplay and much more...

Excerpts...

Can 'art' withstand the Modi wave?
The Election Results were out and NaMo chants filled the air. Our conversation too, hit a political note, at least for starters. Narendra Modi's sweeping victory in what can be termed as one of our country's historic elections since 1984, was not an occasion for celebration for all. Some called it a 'Black Friday' and others mourned the slow death of freedom of artistic expression. Author Salman Rushdie for instance, said a Modi-run government would be a "bullying" one. We asked Aparna if her fears are similar and she explained, "Power corrupts and what worries me is that the BJP has got absolute majority with no one party in opposition. People wanted change this time and the Indian electorate voted for the only available alternative. On the question of curbing artistic freedom under the new regime, well, that is not a recent occurrence. Secular and liberal voices are not heard enough. A totalitarian rule that does not allow dialogue and multiple voices is a threatening one. Debates, discussions and arguments are necessary for a healthy democracy."

The bookworm filmmaker
We soon took a deliberate detour from politics and shifted our focus to literature and books. The reading list that Aparna allowed us a sneak-peek into is an exhaustive one. Though she would not like to call herself a voracious reader now as there is far too much work to pursue her reading on a regular basis, she admits she used to read a lot at one time. "I grew up reading the classics -- both in English and in Bengali. The usual Dickens, Hardy, the Bronte sisters and so on, and after that Chekhov, Ibsen, Lorca, Yeats and T. S. Eliot. In Bengali, the mandatory reading included works by Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay, Manik Bandopadhyay, Sharadindu Bandopadhyay, Bankim Chandra, Vidyasagar, Sarat Chandra and of course Rabindranath Tagore. Among the later ones, I am fond of Shyamal Gangopadhyay, Samaresh Basu, Shirshendu Mukhpadhyay, Mahashweta Debi and many others. I have loved poems by Jibanananda Das, Shankha Ghosh, Shakti Chattopadhyay and Sunil Gangopadhyay, and later poets like Joy Goswamy and Srijato. Also, Latin-American literature has always fascinated me- especially, works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Isabel Allende and a little of Jorge Luis Borges. I also like Indian writing in English- Vikram Seth in particular," said Aparna, who recently finished reading a Bengali translation of Li Cunxin's 'Mao's Last Dancer'. It is a memoir of a ballet dancer born in Communist China under the Mao Zedong regime. "It gives you interesting insights into what life was like in Mao's China," she adds.

'Epics are not religious texts'
One of Aparna Sen's later movies- Iti Mrinalini (2010) re-imagines a defining episode from the 'Mahabharata' where Kunti comes to meet Karna before the Kurukshetra War. What is it about our epics that we keep going back to them? "The Karna-Kunti sequence in my film is a mixed adaptation of Rabindranath Tagore's 'Karna-Kunti Sambad' and Buddhadeva Basu's verse drama 'Pratham Partha'. My Kunti is dressed in black and I remember how fascinating the entire experience of creating the costumes was. Jewellery and accessories had tribal motifs and we wore un-stitched clothes to evoke the period. Artistic experiments and an interplay of imagination and innovation help keep the epics alive even today. I think there is a common perception that the 'Mahabharata' and the 'Ramayana' are religious texts. They're not; they're epic poems, like 'The Iliad' or the 'Odyssey' by Homer. For many people the original and sole author of The Ramayana was/is Tulsidas! Tulsidas was a wonderful folk poet but he was by no means the first or only chronicler of the epic. Generations of poets have interpreted and reinterpreted these texts and revisited our mythology in fiction and other art forms," argued Aparna.

The story behind 'The Japanese Wife'
It was over a casual coffee session with Kunal (Basu) that the idea of filming 'The Japanese Wife' was born. The book of short stories had not released yet. "Kunal and I had started collaborating on a script and we were getting nowhere. Then we decided to take a coffee break and he began to tell me a story. It was originally called 'Kites'. As he narrated it, images crowded my mind and I asked him if he had given the film rights of the story to anyone. He said he hadn't and I requested him not to," recounted the director. That story became Aparna Sen's film- 'The Japanese Wife' and eventually the movie name gave the book its title as well.

No Tagore on celluloid?
Bengali filmmakers' obsession with Tagore is a widely accepted truth. It is, therefore, quite unusual that as a filmmaker Aparna Sen was not bitten by the Tagore bug. Putting our curiosity to rest, she clarified, "I had wanted to make Chokher Bali (somewhere in the 80s, shortly after '36 Chowringhee Lane') but the rights were not available at the time. I had made extensive notes too, which I later offered to share with Ritu (the late Rituparno Ghosh) when he decided to make a film based on the novel. However, Ritu didn't want to be influenced in any way and went on to make his own film. Tagore's Gora has also interested me because of its contemporary relevance. But it would be difficult to recreate the period and who could I possibly cast as Gora? Konkona too, keeps telling me that I should make a film based on one of Tagore's works. I hope I am able to do so soon."

Aparna is currently working on a Hindi version of Badal Sarkar's 'Saara Rattir' (Saari Raat) as a short film for an Indo-Pak film festival. It would be filmed in the form of a play in three acts and be her tribute to the playwright who passed away a few years ago.

Aparna Sen's recommended reading list includes:

1. No Country: A Novel by Kalyan Ray (slated to release June 2014)
2. An Equal Music by Vikram Seth
3. The Life and Times of Michael K by J. M. Coetzee
4. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
5. Mao's Last Dancer by Li Cunxin

(Originally published on May 20, 2014)

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Benefits of coffee for your skin

It looks like today's metropolitan lives are fuelled by coffee. Sure, we love that coffee perks us up to last through the day, and we've practically embraced those quaint joints that mark every street corner.

However, there are reasons beyond the obvious that show how coffee permeates through our lives. While it is scientifically proven that this 'wonder drink', when consumed in moderation, promotes good health and contains properties that help you keep illness at bay, coffee lovers now have a reason to rejoice as we decipher its numerous benefits for the skin!

Delving deeper into the benefits of coffee, it has also been noted that coffee is great for the skin. While drinking a cup gets you that internal coffee boost, rubbing your skin with a soap or cream that contains coffee also promises a whole set of benefits that make coffee a favourite skin 'drink.'

Here are some reasons your skin will thank you for an external coffee boost:

It's a rich source of antioxidants: The environment is full of free radicals (pollution particles, etc.) that wreak havoc on the skin. However, loading up skin with the antioxidants in coffee protects it and bolsters its natural defences. In fact, a study showed that coffee bean extracts can be responsible for skin cell energy preservation due to its free-radical properties."

It protects against harsh sun rays: UVB is harmful and may even lead to more complicated and life-threatening skin diseases. Protecting your skin with caffeine may protect it against UV carcinogens. According to another study, caffeine actually inhibits the DNA damage response, thus protecting skin against the adverse effects of UVB. The inhibition of DNA damage response may offer a therapeutic option for non-melanoma skin cancer.

It makes skin smooth and bright: Because of its qualities that signal tissue repair, coffee plays a crucial role in regulating cell re-growth, leading to retained hydration (increased collagen) and increased skin elasticity.

It enhances circulation: When coffee promotes blood circulation, it leads to healthy and energised skin, effectively reducing the swelling of tissues and de-puffing areas of the skin.

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Recipe: Rohu fish raita

A non-spicy Fish Recipe
Recipe: - Rohu Fish- 4 piece ( 80gm each) - Lime Juice - 1 tablespoon - Hung Curd- 150gm - Salt - to taste - Sugar- 1 Tea-spoon - Chopped Coriander - 3 Teaspoon - Chopped Green Chilly- 2 - Lemon Leaf -1 chopped - Mustard Oil- 3 Table spoon

HOW TO PREPARE: Clean the fish & marinate with salt - Lemon juice for 20 minutes.
Take hung card in a bowl & add chopped Coriander, sugar, green chilly, lemon leaf, Mustard oil , Mix it properly.
Add fish in the mixture, Place it in a Non - stick Pan, cover it for 8 minutes
And the Fish Raita is ready to

SERVE

Source: www.pankajbhadouria.com

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In pics: Newlyweds’ guide to doing up home

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Even if nothing like a sprawling Beverly Hills condo, you would still want yours to be homey and aesthetic with a reflection of your personality. But most couples undermine the beauty of the experience of doing up the house together, and in the process discovering a lesser-known side of one another. Contrary to popular perception, home decor doesn't necessarily have to cost an arm and a leg, even for a honeymoon-return couple who wish to create for themselves a haven of romance.

We try to make your time setting up the house less harrowing by getting interior design duo Sumessh Menon and Vivek Popli of Trikaya Interiors along with Shivika Bhasin of German kitchen and home furnishing brands Hacker, Hulsta and Rolf Benz, to share their impressions. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Living room: Go for contemporary straight line furniture as it makes the room look serene post wedding celebrations. Wicker furniture is another great idea and is quite popular in the West too for their chic designs and affordability. You can get them designed and coloured to your liking and toss bright cushions on them. Espresso brown, wine red and white are the classic shades in wicker. Shivika insists on sprucing it up with contrasting colour cushions in heart shape and keeping the contours of the couches soft to give a sensuous, romantic feel to the living area. For a sense of dimension, introduce a conversation piece chair, suggests Sumessh Menon, in a colour that stands out from the rest of the furniture. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Dining area: A couple should go for a dining table comprising two chairs and a bench. "This is a very creative way to break the monotony, and make optimal utilisation of space," feels Sumessh. To give your space a rustic look, you can even do up the wall facing the dining table with brick tiles, and hang a few lanterns or a beautiful coloured glass lamp. Spread a pretty cutwork tablecloth and table runner for an elegant look. To enhance it, you can place a glass bowl of rose petals and candles in the center of the dining table. "Keeping fresh fruits in a crystal bowl is another way out," Shivika adds. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Lobby: You can lay out your coffee table in the lobby area which is otherwise used only as an access path to adjoining rooms. For a chic look, pick a low coffee table with low stools. It makes sense to stack some books, a scrabble, some stationary and a coffee mug on the table to make this part of the house look in-use. The coffee table, however, need not match with the other furniture bits in the house. More creative ones can get logs of wood converted into coffee table and stools with help from a carpenter. If you have more room, why not spread out a rug and throw in some blingy, over-the-top cushions. Pottery lovers can scatter terracotta vases that come in interesting shapes, or as Sumessh would prefer, different sizes of aquamarine pottery clustered together in a corner to lend your home a soothing Mediterranean feel. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Bedroom: Post wedding women in particular are very possessive about their bedrooms and would rather do it up their way. So, she can have her pinks and fuchsias on the walls, and maybe you can convince her to leave a wall vacant for a nice wallpaper. Create a collage of wedding and honeymoon photographs and hang it on an empty wall in the bedroom or the anti-lobby leading to the bedroom. Make sure the bed is placed against the dead wall, and no where close to a window. The dressing table can be lightweight with spacious drawers to stock cosmetics. Use wooden blinds, bamboo chicks for an aesthetic look; or go all out with sheer curtains along with the main one. The latest doing the rounds in home interiors is a walk-in wardrobe, and every newly married girl dreams of owning one. (Thinktock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Kitchen: Modular kitchens, says Shivika, come with an option to change the fronts anytime. Place the crockery in tall cabinets lit up with LED and illuminated shelves. Use wall hung cabinets for the light crockery pieces, add a corkboard to hang pots and pans, and make use of inbuilt appliances to organise your kitchen better. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Private den: Creating a 'me time' space in the house is an absolute mandate. Your love for music, books, art should find manifestation in this little area which is your den. You can place a reclining chair here, put up frames of your favourite musicians on the wall, keep a book shelf, a small television if you please, and a rack for your collection of CDs. Men can store their gadgets, the old guitar, old music albums and what have you. If there is paucity of space, you can consider dividing the room with screens. (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images) 

Newlyweds' guide to doing up home

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Don't fake sex, your partner knows it already!

If you think your partner does not know about if you are actually satisfied after sex, you are fooling yourself - and there is no point faking it in bed either!

A fascinating study has found that men and women are equally perceptive of their partners' levels of sexual satisfaction.

"On average, both men and women have fairly accurate and unbiased perceptions of their partners' sexual satisfaction," said Erin Fallis from department of psychology at University of Waterloo.

"We also found that having good communication about sexual issues helped participants to understand their partners' sexual satisfaction," she added.

However, even if sexual communication was lacking, a person could still be fairly accurate in gauging his or her partner's sexual satisfaction if he or she was able to read emotions well, co-author professor Uzma S. Rehman added.

The study involved 84 couples that were part of a larger study on sexual functioning and satisfaction.

Fallis separated the partners, asked them to each report on their levels of commitment, relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, sexual communication and measured their emotion recognition abilities.

Couples in a sexual relationship develop what psychologists call a sexual script, which forms guidelines for their sexual activity.

"Over time, a couple will develop sexual routines. We believe that having the ability to accurately gauge each other's sexual satisfaction will help partners to develop sexual scripts that they both enjoy," Fallis commented.

Specifically, being able to tell if their partners are sexually satisfied will help people decide whether to stick with a current routine or try something new.

The findings may help reduce a common stereotype in our culture that women and men have difficulty communicating with and understanding one another.

Having a more accurate understanding of one's partner's sexual satisfaction will have positive impacts for both partners' sexual satisfaction and we're eager to test this idea, the researchers added.

The study was published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

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Drink recipes for mango lovers

With the arrival of the mango season, it's time to indulge in the fruit. Here's what you have been craving for

Mango Panna

Ingredients:
2 Raw mangoes
1/2 Cup sugar
1/4 tsp Saffron strands
1/2 tsp Cardamom powder

Preparation:

- Wash the mangoes and cut into chunks.
- Mix mango chunks and sugar.
- Boil till the mangoes turn soft.
- Blend it well.
- Add cardamom powder and saffron.
- Boil it.
- Keep it for cooling.
- Serve chilled.

Mango Lassi
Smooth, creamy and absolutely delicious!
Ready in 10 mins
Serves: 1

Ingredients

1 mango - peeled, seeded and diced
1 cup plain yogurt
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup ice
Preparation method
Prep: 5 mins | Cook: 5 mins

In a blender, combine mango, yogurt, sugar and ice. Blend until smooth. Pour into glasses and serve.

(Recipes by: Maharaj Jodha Ram Chaudhary, Khandani Rajdhani)

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The understated jalebi’s many incarnations

Red, yellow, white and black — the understated jalebi's many incarnations

There cannot be a more democratic sweet. The twisted jalebi is loved across communities and ages. The first test of a good one, unilaterally, is the crispy short bite. That's what everyone said — foodies and mithaiwalas alike. Then came the nuances of colour and temperature. Some like it hot, some like it cold with rabri, milk, malai or dahi. Some even prescribe it for headaches. Mother promise.

We stomped around Mumbai with the enviable task of tasting all the various types.

Bright red & XL: Lookmanji Mithaiwala, Mohammed Ali Road
This is where the Bohra and Parsis community get their fix. It's one mammoth jalebi (in varying weights of 250 gm onwards), red in colour, garnished with varakh and dry fruits. Proprietor Umaima Chitalwala says, "The red colour is very attractive. We make an orange one too, but when we put them side-by-side, people prefer the red ones. It's the juiciness that is appealing. Jalebis have a two-day shelf life and can be eaten in one sitting."

The basic ingredients of a jalebi are maida and water, left to ferment overnight for the slight tang. Lookmanji adds saffron to its sugar syrup for fragrance and suggests eating them for breakfast with malai or slightly sweetened dahi.

The Bohra community orders a colourless version for sombre occasions such as prayer meets for the departed and death anniversaries. "It's considered crude to gift brightly coloured things on such occasions, so the jalebi is white," says Chitalwala. "We garnish it with rose petals, since the flower is considered pure."

The Parsis like the red ones for birthdays and Navroze.

Laced doilee in maida: Tharu's Mukhi Bhandar, Khar
Sindhi legend has it that on Holi, the line from Tharu's stretches to Linking Road. Everyone needs their fix of gheear and pragari. The Sindhi gheear, also known as a Karachi jalebi, is a latticed net, about five to six inches in diameter. Tharu makes it only on Holi or by order. The gheear-pragari pair is sent to the daughter's home for the festival. "The trick is in making the network with a smallnozzle pipe," says Saajan Mandyni, a great grandson of the original founder. "There is nothing you can do to speed up the fermentation process, other than leave the batter near a heat source," he says. "Then we garnish it with pista."

Floral & mouth-sized: Punjabi Chandu Halwai, Dadar TT Circle
Chandu Halwai serves gheear all year round, but most importantly, he also serves emartis (in pic). These kada-like jalebis are made of urad daal and the batter is nozzled into a mould which sits in simmering ghee. Proprietor Bhartendu Singh says, "This makes it crisper and healthier than the normal jalebi. It's originally from Karachi." Emartis are traditionally eaten cold and offered during pittra paksh to dead ancestors. Tastewise, the emarti is grittier and juicier, since the veins are larger. After the crispy crust, the rest of it is spongy. It's very believable that you'd crave this in the spiritual world.

Tight coils of brown: Burhanpur Mawa Jalebu, Mohammed Ali Road
Nooruddin Narpali's Burhanpur mawa jalebi stall is now sandwiched between impostors who have a take on his name. He's hung laminated signs that scream, "Old" and "Original". The stall stands behind the Jama (Hara) Masjid in Bhendi Bazaar and churns out 40 kg of what is known as the 'widow-maker'. It opens at 3.30 or 4 pm.

"These are a speciality of Madhya Pradesh," says Narpali. "Take one in the morning, dip it in a glass of milk for five minutes and eat it. You'll have energy through the day."

The jalebis are made of mawa, arrowroot, milk and water; fried in oil and soaked in sugar syrup. Narpali suggests eating it with dahi, rabdi, milk or malai. "It tastes different with each accompaniment."

The challenge is knowing when to stop.

Maze of juice: Punjab Sweet House, Pali Naka
For the simple, thin-veined, hot jalebi, most people head to Punjab Sweet House. They are fried on the spot in a mixture of vanaspati and ghee, soaked in two-string sugar syrup and delivered into waiting hands. Proprietor H S Gulati says the trick is to fry it in oil for the correct amount of time. He also says jalebi with milk in the morning is a sure-fire cure for headaches. Consider this a medical sanction.

"The secret to our crispness is the ratio of three pulses we add to the mix of maida and water," he says, not giving away the names of the grains. "There is no added colour; the yellow comes from the pulses." Dussehra is marked in north Indian homes with rabdijalebis, which Gulati calls the king of sweets because, "children and adults love them equally."

The Gujarati and Marwari versions, found in home-stores such as Chedda and Chandan, colour the batter with saffron, fry the jalebi in ghee and garnish with slivered nuts.

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How to bring back romance in summer

Summers are real killer months for romance. Of course, you can easily blame it on the crazy sun lords for frayed nerves and jangled mood. But, here's a sure-shot recipe to rekindle that winsome aura of love and romance in your life, in these mad summer months...

Here are four tips for recommitting yourself to love, romance and sexual desire — all the good stuff that brought you and your amour together in the first place.

Get sizzling hot and fuzzy Romance is not sex and sex is not romance. But the two aren't mutually exclusive either.

Romance is a lifestyle. To keep the spark alive, aim to make your partner feel warm and fuzzy. Pull out the pet names, tickle his arm when he's watching TV, and don't fail to tell them just how cute you think they look with those new sun-kissed freckles on their nose.

Looking good and feeling great If you're aiming to reignite your partner's passion, you may want to reconsider your affection for wearing those hole-y jogging pants, a.k.a. your post-work athleisure-wear. That doesn't mean you have to greet him at the front door wearing Saran wrap, but it may mean you treat yourself to a spa day, swap your sweats for a long dress once in a while, or get a blowout for kicks. You'll feel good and your self-confidence won't go unnoticed. Who knows, once he sees you all spruced up he may decide to shower before he crawls into bed.

Staying in love is important The first flush of romance may have passed, but it never hurts to remind yourself that you're not just partners, you're lovers. Go for a walk, a bike ride or to a B&B for the night and reconnect as a couple. The only rule: No talk of domestic affairs.

Don't take a sex slump so seriously Sexual desire waxes and wanes over the course of a day so it's no surprise that it does over the course of a long-term relationship too, especially when life, work and health get in the way. For example, you may be heavily pregnant, dealing with an illness, grief over the loss of a loved one, or just plain overworked and exhausted. In fact, make that your mantra. Sexual droughts, and periods of inactivity are normal.

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