Your gang of buddies means well, but truth be told, their carefully thought out advice — you'll figure in the long run — is not quite helpful. Relationship experts cull out 10 bad dating advices that you must never follow.
1. Wait for Mr Right: If that's the advice you buy into, then be ready to keep waiting. By the time a woman hits her third decade, she has had enough time to get to know herself, what she is looking for and how to identify red flags. What's the difference between settling and compromising? When it comes to marriage, what can we live with, and what can we live without? How long does it make sense to hold out for someone better — who we may never find, and who may not exist — when we could be happy with the person right in front of us? It's okay if you don't find Mr Right (it's a myth, by the way), go for Mr Okay (if he loves and treats you with respect, that is).
2. Never accept last minute dates: It's Wednesday afternoon. You have no mid-week plans yet (except maybe a yoga class). And the guy you just started dating calls. He was given passes to a private show of a movie you really want to watch. But it starts in three hours. Do you really want him to know you had no plans? Won't it seem desperate to accept a last-minute offer? The idea that a woman shouldn't accept a lastminute date offer is outdated. While you shouldn't be always-available (read: over eager) to get tossed into the 'sure-thing standby' category, there's nothing wrong with accepting a same-day invitation from someone you are interested in seeing. You don't want to give the impression that you're not keen.
3. You cannot call for at least two days - it's the rule to follow: Two days, three days, a week. If you call too soon — or too late — you will blow the whole thing. In the times of social media, and smart phones, is it really easy to pretend to stay out of touch? Of course, not. In fact, for starters, it's always nice to send a 'thank you for a nice time' message, no later than the next morning. That communicates your interest and he/she is likely to reciprocate if the feeling is mutual. That said, there is nothing wrong with calling in to say hello, occasionally. Dating should be fun and not make you feel like you are enduring the partnership. So, instead of waiting for what you want, take the lead to set the precedent for what you expect from a new guy, so it's reciprocated.
4. Wait until the third date to have sex: Advice such as don't wax your legs so you don't let things get too far is another way of saying, don't have sex too soon. This is the same logic that generally goes together with 'you shouldn't have sex until the third date'. But, now, hang on: What if you do let it go "too far" sooner than that? Don't get too caught up in those calculations. Instead, wait until you trust him/her. And indulge in intercourse, only if it is mutual. Don't give in to pressure. If he/she is good at heart, they'll respect your decision.
5. Ditch him if he goes dutch: Interestingly, studies show, many women still prefer that the man pays for the first few dates, especially if he was the one who initiated the date. But if he asks to split the bill, it doesn't mean you should break up. After all, he could be struggling financially in this economy, which we can all relate to. Just because he didn't pay for the entire meal doesn't mean he didn't want to. Besides, what is wrong with pitching in? Aren't you doing well for yourself? Or are you looking out for Mr World Bank?
6. Eat less when you are with him: You don't want to look like a greedy glut by ordering every third dish on the menu, do you? While that would be weird to watch, you don't just want to settle for a bowl of leaves either to show him what a light eater you are. Get over your hang up. A woman should order whatever she wants. In case he is paying, you may want to stay within a price range to be polite.
7. No spark, no second date: Love at first sight usually fizzles after the initial fire cracker. You need to be patient and let it evolve if you want it to last. So it is always worth going on a second date. There are too many factors standing in the way of seeing clearly when we first meet someone, making it hard to be objective. Everyone has ghosts in their closet, so we tend to stereotype and have the tendency to stop a relationship with potential before it starts.
8. Maintain some mystery: Trying to be mysterious instead of true to yourself means your partner is getting to know someone you're not. While narrating your life story on the first date isn't a great idea, waiting to reveal some less than flattering details after the relationship is somewhat solidified isn't being dishonest either. Be natural and honest.
9. Bad pick-up line? Back away: Would you have the courage to approach a stranger who caught your eye? What you would say to strike up a conversation? Not so easy, is it? While clever pick-up lines can come easy to some men, it doesn't mean you want to date any of them. Consider this, an awkward or tongue-in-cheek line probably means the guy is interested — but just a little shy.
10. The best way to get over someone is to date someone else: Before you jump into bed with someone else, make sure you know why your last relationship didn't work before starting your next one. And you need to find closure before you move on. Most people say goodbye when they're angry. Instead, wait a while to talk about your relationship, your regrets and wishes for each other's future. Always part on a good note.
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