Teenage sex, a headache for parents

With an increasing number of youngsters feeling compelled to 'do it' just to fit in with their friends and peers, teenage sex is a growing problem. Rachel Fernandes tells you more

Peer pressure is nothing new. It's every parent's worst nightmare, especially when their child falls prey to vices like alcohol, drugs and smoking. These days, however, an increasing number of youngsters in their early teens, both girls and boys, are falling prey to the pressure of becoming sexually active from a very young age, even as early as 12 years. What was once considered a Western world problem is today very much a growing reality of our Indian society too. MMS scandals involving school and college students are unfortunately becoming regular occurances hogging news and cyber space.

Neesha Raut, mother of 15-year-old Dhruv is a worried parent. Why? Because Dhruv and his girlfriend often shut the door of his room and hang out. "Though I know for a fact that they are always watching movies or playing video games, I can't help but get apprehensive. On the other hand, I also can't tell him not to shut the door as it is his own room and we all advocate the right to privacy in the house," she laments.

Though it can mostly be blamed on the pressure from friends, peers and acquaintances in the same age group and the need to fit into a stereotype, the increased exposure to sexually explicit material - TV, Internet, and other forms of media that teenagers access is also a growing cause for concern. "There's also the society's rather relaxed attitude about sex to be blamed. I often see parents and adults making references about boyfriends and girlfriends to kids as young as primary students. As a result, the child gets mixed signals that it's okay to pursue this path. Also, they see a very casual and lax attitude towards sex in the home. All this results in them wanting to try things out for themselves," says noted educationist Swati Popat Vats.

According to child psychologist, Dr Bela Raja, it's all about peer pressure. "Hence, even if the youngster is not ready, he/she will go ahead and do it just because everyone else is and because they feel the need to be one of the crown and accepted. There's also low self esteem to blame for this problem. Many of these youngsters feel that they will fit into a friends circle only if they are doing what everyone else who is a part of it is doing. The sense of standing apart doesn't exist anymore," she explains.

And what are the signs of a sexually active teenager? "Unless they actually tell you about it themselves or they are caught in the act, there's no definitive way of telling. However, if a parent is careful enough to notice even the minutest of a child's behavioural changes, there may be signs like the sudden focus on themselves and their physical appearance, the need to ensure that they look good, sport the latest trends, etc. so that they can attract the other person, that could suggest that all is not right in their world," Bela explains. According to Swati, once a young teenager becomes sexually active, he/she develops a cocky, care-a-damn kind of attitude. "On the other hand, there will also be this immense feeling of guilt as they are hiding something so huge from you and the lying will continue," she warns.

The physical and psychological damages of indulging in such reckless behaviour, however, can have lasting effects on the young minds. "When they grow up, especially when they get married, if one has had a bad sexual experience as a youngster, they could end up carrying the baggage here too thus being traumatised at the idea of getting sexually intimate with the partner," says Dr Bela.

And the solution? "Once the act is done, instead of shouting, screaming and hitting the child, it's better to sit them down and patiently explain about what they did was wrong and how they shouldn't let something like this happen again. Most importantly, remember that most kids indulge in such reckless behaviour just to get the focus back on themselves. Spending quality time with you child is by far the best solution to help them," says Dr Bela.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Earrings for your face shape

It's time to flaunt the best accessory! Whatever may be your face type, there is always an earring to compliment your face

There are some general rules that we delve into while selecting the right earring for your face type. Shalini Mehta, Apparel Designer & Film Stylist, says, "Most Indian women have an oval or round face. Straight edgy earrings are best suited for them. People with a heart-shape face could also go in for the straight ones, since it adds length. Further, square faced women could go in for rounded, oval accessories which are also very trendy."

Oval face

You have the most versatile face shape and you can sport almost anything! Soft shapes like teardrops, pearls, studs and ovals are the most recommended. Remember to choose something which will be in proportion to your head size and body scale.

Celebrities - Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Anniston, Julia Roberts, Sharon Stone, Madhuri Dixit, Priyanka Chopra

Round face

You should wear longer earrings which will add some angle to your face. Angular, long and lean earrings are the best. Dangles, ovals and bold angular studs would also suit your face type.

Celebrities - Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz, Preity Zinta

Heart - shaped face

Your face is more similar to the oval one, but is narrower below the cheekbones and pointed at the chin with a wider forehead. You should opt for earrings which are wider at the bottom. Ovals and teardrops are the best ones for you. You can also sport the pyramid style earrings for a trendier look.

Celebrities - Sohie Dahl, Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, Rani Mukherjee, Sonakshi Sinha

Square face

You should opt for earrings which are longer than they are wide. Earrings with curves at the bottom, small circular earrings, large oval shapes are the best for you.

Celebrities - Sandra Bullock, Demi Moore, Isabella Rosellini, Amrita Arora, Sonam Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor

meghna.mukherjee@timesgroup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

William Dalrymple on turning history into literature

William Dalrymple, who was in Chennai recently, gets chatting with us about his latest book, Afghanistan and more...

Was your move from writing travel to history a conscious one?
It was a conscious move but it really isn't as big a move. There's a huge amount of history in all my travel books. It was very also very much determined by how my life was changing — when I wrote In Xanadu, City Of Djinns, From The Holy Mountain: A Journey In The Shadow Of Byzantium and The Age Of Kali, it was from the ages of 20 to 35 and then, suddenly, I had a family. I wanted to see my kids growing up and spend time at home. And, writing history allowed for this.

With the Return Of A King: The Battle For Afghanistan 1839-1842, you focus on Afghanistan. Why this region?
Oddly enough, though the title refers to Afghanistan, I see it very much very much as part of the trilogy I have been working on — with The White Mughals on one side and The Last Mughal on the other. The three books are all about the relationship between Britain and south and central Asia in the crucial turning point between the end of the Mughal Empire and the beginning of the Raj. The White Mughals ends in 1805, this book begins in 1877 and The Last Mughal ends in 1858. So, it's quite a compact 50 years and there are characters that appear in all the three books. I think there's a strong continuity in the books. I have chosen to write this book obviously because there's an incredibly close and direct bearing on the current mess in Afghanistan.

Did you find any parallels between the Afghanistan of then and today?
What surprised me was that often when one gets into the details of things, parallels fall apart and you can see the differences. But in this book, the opposite happened.

As I went into micro-detail, there were so just many parallels. It turned out - which I have never read anywhere else - that President Karzai is from the same sub-tribe, Popalzai, as Shah Shuja. Likewise the tribe that brought down Shah Shuja was the Ghilzai who now are part of the Taliban. So the same tribal battles continue 170 years apart.

Why has this region in the world been so difficult to conquer?
It's a very interesting question. I believe that it has to do a lot with economics. It's not that you can't conquer Afghanistan, people have conquered\ it - but it's economically ruinous. They don't produce anything as a country. So f you conquer it, you'll get only stones and hills and poverty. There's nothing to plunder and yet the cost of garrisoning the country is horrific and has bankrupted so many people. The ambitious empire wants to conquer it because it's at the crossroads and there's a strange continuity to this.

Do you think there'll be another Wazir Akbar Khan?
We spoke about the parallels but there are also important differences. President Karzai is an elected leader which is important. Secondly, the Taliban today is much more fractious and disunited than the rebellion warriors of the past. Wazir Akbar Khan and Mohammed were widely respected as were other leaders too who were often forgotten then. But it is interesting. There is no Wazir Akbar Khan today. Mullah Omar is no Akbar Khan.

Do you think the western world understands the importance of Afghan tribes?
No, clearly not. (Laughs) But there are some fantastic experts on this region like Nile Green and others. But there are huge failures of knowledge at the highest level and you can see that right from the beginning of the occupation. There was every opportunity after the fall of the Taliban to make things right by spending very small quantities of money on road-building, sanitation, women's health and so on. This would have created a huge amount of goodwill. Instead, we sank $6 billion in security and this just leads to more insecurity on the ground. It's quite tragic. There's nothing remotely comparable in India. Patna looks like Manhattan compared to Kabul!

Does the Taliban oppression of women today have anything to do with foreign troops having illicit relations with them during the 1839 battle?
No. It's an interesting question. The Afghan women were wearing the burqa then and it was a more severe form of covering than what was common in the plains. But Afghan women had a level of independence which you don't hear about so much today. You have these powerful matriarchal figures that one heard about then (which are in the book).

There's an interesting footnote where you talk about the Chippendales of Islamic heaven...
(Laughs) I've never been asked by anyone about a footnote! This is a first. Everyone writes about houris (nymphs of Paradise) and I wanted some stuff for the girls as well.

Can history be made enjoyable to the lay person?
When we went to school in England all of us loved history and we would despise Maths, Chemistry and Physics. You guys seem to love Maths, Chemistry and Physics and hate history! (Laughs) I have been having a discussion recently with my friend Ram Guha and he believes that many Indian authors are writing history for the general population in Hindi and Bengali. And he knows this field better than I do. But the bookshops are not groaning with that type of history book. I try to write the kind of history books that I enjoy and admire - which is based on years of primary research but which is written with a lightness of touch and a literary style which reads as well as any literary novel. To be able to take history and turn into a work of literature is a wonderful thing.

What's your most favourite place in India?
It changes each year. I used to think it's the wonderful Mandu in Madhya Pradesh. I had a theory thinking it was Goa then I moved on thinking it was Kerala. I love the Tamil south - Tanjore and all the gorgeous temple towns.

Do you like south Indian food?
I love it. I have put on so much weight eating dosa for breakfast everyday and uthapam at the airport and idli.com elsewhere. (Laughs)

You live on a farm in Delhi.
It's one of the few farms in Delhi that is a farm! We have goats - we milk them and eat them. We grow our own vegetables. It's very self-sufficient actually.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Avoid hangover with white spirits

The party season is all set to roll in! And dance, drinks and hangovers are sure to be commonplace. So, if you wish to avoid that post party hangover? Well, then avoid red wine and dark spirits and stick to white wine or vodka, say scientists.

In a new study, boffins have confirmed that the type of morning after you suffer is all down to the colour of your tipple.

Many alcoholic beverages contain byproducts of the materials used in the fermenting process. These byproducts are called "congeners," complex organic molecules with toxic effects including acetone, acetaldehyde, fusel oil, tannins, and furfural. Bourbon has 37 times the amount of congeners that vodka has. The new study found that while drinking a lot of bourbon can cause a worse hangover than drinking a lot of vodka, impairment in people's next-day task performance is about the same for both beverages.

"While the toxic chemicals called congeners could be poisonous in large amounts, they occur in very small amounts in alcoholic beverages," explained Damaris J. Rohsenow, professor of community health at the Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies at Brown University. "There are far more of them in the darker distilled beverages and wines than in the lighter colored ones. While the alcohol alone is enough to make many people feel sick the next day, these toxic natural substances can add to the ill effects as our body reacts to them."

Rohsenow added that few studies have looked at the effects of high- versus low-congener beverages on next-day hangover or performance, and some of those early studies were not careful to wait until breath alcohol levels (BALs) were close to zero before measuring performance, so results may have included some of alcohol''s direct effects.

"We wanted to investigate next-day effects of bourbon versus vodka while ensuring that BALs were zero or almost zero when we studied performance, and we used a variety of performance measures classified by their relevance to safety," said Rohsenow. "We wanted to use a new hangover questionnaire that included only the symptoms that had been found to be valid in laboratory studies of hangover. We wanted to find out if bourbon's effects the next day were due to different effects on sleep, so people''s sleep patterns were recorded while they slept. Finally, we wanted to know if performance impairments the morning after drinking were associated with how hung-over the person felt."

To reach the conclusion, researchers recruited and paid 95 (58 women, 37 men) healthy, heavy drinkers to participate in one acclimatization night, followed by two drinking nights. The participants drank bourbon or vodka to an average of 0.11 gpc BAL on one night, with a matched placebo on the other night, randomized for type and order. Polysomnography recordings were made overnight; self-report and neurocognitive measures were assessed the next morning.

"First, while alcohol in the beverage did increase how hung-over people reported feeling the next morning compared to drinking a placebo, bourbon made people feel even worse than vodka did," said Rohsenow. "Second, alcohol in the beverage did make people do worse when they needed to pay attention for a continuous period of time while making rapid accurate choices, but they did no worse after bourbon than after vodka on these tasks. Therefore, while people felt worse, they didn't perform worse after bourbon than after vodka. However, people were not aware that they were performing worse since they thought their driving ability was not impaired in the morning even though they could not react as well."

"A third finding was that while alcohol in the beverages made people sleep less well because they woke up more during the night, this was no worse after bourbon than it was after vodka," Rohsenow said. "This means that bourbon''s greater effects on hangover are not due to it having greater effects on sleep. Fourth, people who reported more hangover symptoms also did worse in their ability to pay attention for a continuous period of time while making rapid accurate choices."

18.47 | 2 komentar | Read More

A fairytale trip to Soviet state, Tallinn

Be it fairytale-like charm or a rich Soviet lineage, surrender to Tallinn's magic and lose track of time.

Estonia had never featured on my 'must-see countries' list. Why then, would I go to this far-flung, erstwhile Soviet state? Well, my aunt had a conference in Tallinn and she asked me if I would like to free-load. So I said yes. Shamelessly. Never mind the fact that I wasn't expecting much from the city. I mean, how different could it be from the cliche of a struggling Soviet offshoot, fraught by the shadows of its past? But a free ride is a free ride. And so, in Tallinn, I promptly landed.

I slowly scanned the view of the city from our hotel window. Grey skies. Grey buildings. Desolate streets. So far, the city was living up to my preconceived notions. Then suddenly, as my gaze shifted to the right, a burst of colour dotted my view. I could see vibrant, red-tiled spires soaring in stark contrast to the rest of the city's modern landscape. I was told later that I had been staring at the city's Old Town.

The old town
The next morning, while my aunt toiled away at the conference, I set out on foot to explore Tallinn's fairytale like Old Town, one of the most well preserved gothic towns in the world. As I passed between a pair of imposing, ivy-covered towers at the beginning of Viru Street — the main archway into Old Town, I got the distinct impression that I had dived from the 21st century straight into the heart of a bygone era. I ambled through winding cobbled streets towards the Town Hall, which was flanked by a large market square and many charming open-air cafes. I shuffled within earshot of a tourist guide and overheard him tell his group that the site had witnessed a memorable execution centuries ago. "A priest was beheaded here for killing a waitress in the late 1600s," the guide bellowed. "What was his crime?" he was asked. "She brought him a really bad omelette," he said solemnly.

I decided that I liked this guide, with his penchant for drama. So I discreetly hot-footed after him, as he shepherded his group through the heady cocktail of spire-crowned architecture and twisting alleys to the Russian Orthodox Alexander Nevski Cathedral. "The classic onion-domed 19th-century Church has become the city's tourist symbol," the guide rumbled. "But nationalist Estonians are not happy because they regard it as a symbol of Soviet oppression."

The group fervently nodded. So did I. Minutes later, he turned around and huffed towards a church with a soaring spire. I trailed him as he chattered to his group that the 13th-century Olaf's church was the tallest building in the world till a couple of centuries ago. Over the centuries, unfortunately, its poor spire had been repeatedly ambushed by lightning, thereby reducing its original height. I panted all the way up to the top of the spire on the heels of the heaving group. The view was magnificent, but with vertigo lurking around the corner, I quickly wobbled down and waited for the drama king and his subjects.

Our next stop was the ex-KGB Estonian headquarters outside the Old Town. I suddenly felt as if I were at large in a Robert Ludlum novel, as I shadowed the guide round the spooky building like a shifty spy. "This," he boomed dramatically, "Is where the KGB tortured suspected rebels." He then theatrically wagged a finger towards the basement windows. "They are covered up with concrete to suppress the sound of screams," he said, his eyes goggling. I shuddered. So did the rest of the group. Minutes later, the guide, the group and the budding stalker stood outside the gigantic Hotel Viru. "This was a notorious den of Cold War intrigue," I heard him say. "Every room was tapped and monitored by the KGB."

The singing revolution
Later that evening, I visited the Song Festival Grounds with my sight-seeing averse aunt. While she grumpily stood shivering in a corner, I hung on to the words of a local who mentioned that the grounds had been host to over 30,000 music artistes from all over the world and that it was here that the Singing Revolution or the patriotic, night-singing demonstrations took place in the late 1980's, fuelling Estonia's liberation from Russia.

The next day, I went back to Tallinn's roots, the Old Town Square and sat in a cafe, sipping wine and soaking in the sun, which had, for a few brief minutes managed to burst through the clouds. The waiter brought me the menu, with a pamphlet stuck in between its pages. Culture Calls, the pamphlet screamed. Below was a list of more than 250 cultural events, dotting Tallinn's epochmaking annual calendar. The city, clearly had a new reason to celebrate, as Europe's Cultural Capital for the year. I realised two things then - that first impressions aren't necessarily lasting and that it wasn't just me enjoying a moment in the sun; it was all of Tallinn.

Highlights

Museum of Occupations: Brings alive life under Soviet and Nazi regimes.

Kadriorg Palace: The majestic summer palace of the Tsar. A portion of it is closed to the public and is occupied by the Office of the President.

Open Air Museum: An open complex of Estonian rural architecture from the Tsarist era.

Getting around: Tallinn is a well connected city - you can avail of its trams, trolleybuses or taxis.

mirrorfeedback@indiatimes.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

How to handle harsh criticism

Whether it's with your colleagues, friends or family, there are times when you will face criticism or flak for your work, behaviour or actions. While sometimes, it may genuinely be constructive criticism, which could benefit you, most times is it simply harsh, unfair criticism, usually stemming from an insecure individual. This can be a demoraliser. Here's how you can deal in such situations.

-The first thing you should try doing is ignoring it, especially if the criticism is coming from the same source, time and again. You need to decide if this person is worth having around you. After all, people who love and care about you, shouldn't constantly be trying to knock you down.

-If someone is saying something derogatory, try not to defend yourself. As hard as it sounds, becoming defensive in a situation like this will mean, that you actually care about what the person is saying or are hurt by his/her words. You don't need to prove your mettle or worth to someone like this.

-In certain cases, ignoring the situation might make it worse. While you may want to avoid conflict, taking on the problem head on may be the only suitable solution. So the next time you come across someone who's unfairly criticising you, just confront them, ask what their problem is and stand up for yourself.

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Aromatherapy to beat bridal blues

Winter chill not only brings with it ideas to pursue outdoor activities, but many worries and anxieties also which include skin dehydration, wrinkles, complexion dullness, sun tanning, hair and scalp dandruff, and hair fall which prompts us to choose any so called 'natural' skin and hair care products.

Winters are also the preferable season for weddings. And the brides in question already finds herself suffering from anxiety, mood swings, sleep disorders, irregular diet syndromes, and many other unwarranted thoughts about bridal looks, skin and body care, beauty regimen, choice of make-up studio, and other thoughts that influence our endocrine system and creates imbalance in hormonal secretions thereby having profound effect on our skin and body. This is very important for the 'to be bride' to be free from such anxieties and enjoy this once in a lifetime occasion and should have a few sessions with beauty counsellors and also opt for natural therapies like yoga and pranayam to remain fresh and in a jolly mood.

Dr. Naresh Arora, aromatherapist, Chase Aroma Clinic, Delhi, doles out some useful tips to make you look radiant and relaxed on your D-day with aromatherapy.

Beauty session with brides

Face wash: Use mild face wash (aloe vera for dry skin or mint tulsi for oily to normal skin) at least twice a day. Always apply aloe-vera based skin toner after every face cleansing.

Sunscreen: Use a mild sunscreen with SPF 15-20 preferably with relaxing and calming aroma oils like jasmine, motia, ylang ylang and rose.

Scrub: Never use hard scrubs like walnut which may make your skin sensitive and allergic. Scrub beads with jojoba oil, wheat germ oil and vitamin A are highly suitable.

Homemade oil: Add half teaspoon each of jojoba oil and avocado oil with two drops each of Vitamin E and A, one drop each of orange aroma oil and sandalwood oil. Mix together and apply 3-4 drops daily on the face which shall soothe your facial tissues and calm the nerves. This practice should be started one month before the wedding.

Hair: A head massage with hot oil - a mixture of caster oil, sunflower almond oil and coconut oil in equal measure, infused with a few drops of an essential oil like ylang ylang, is known to be good for the hair and acts as an aphrodisiac. Glycerin with malt vinegar can also be added to balance the acid content in the hair. This massage, followed by a hot towel wrap will help the oil to penetrate into the scalp.

Hands and feet: Soak your feet in warm water to which rock salt, lime juice and shampoo have been added. After a good long soak, scrub your feet and apply night cream before going to bed. The following morning, application of a moisturiser on the feet after a bath is advised. Start the nail cultivation therapy as well. Apply a coat of transparent nail polish every day for a week until you go back for your next manicure and pedicure.

Diet: The prescribed diet will include a drink comprising honey and lime juice added to hot water every morning. Stick to a fruit or vegetable diet for at least two days every week.

Body massage: Almond oil with a few relevant essential oils form the base ingredient of the massage medium. A sandalwood body pack with honey, milk, jasmine oil, rose oil, orange peel and a tablespoon of almond oil mixed with sandalwood powder is prepared and applied. Take body massage with stimulating aroma oils once in a fortnight with steam detoxification. Body scrub with dead sea salt also helps in tissue and muscle relaxation and removes dead cells, dried skin oil and other skin deep impurities bringing back the lost sheen and gloss of the skin. A few drops of tea tree oil acts as an antiseptic after waxing.

Say no to skin allergies: If the bride suffers from skin allergies and skin rashes and eruptions like pimple, acne then she must prepare a spray bottle with two drops each of tea tree oil and patchouli oil with 250 ml water and after thorough shaking, apply this spray on your face at least twice a day . This shall make your skin flawless and glowing on your D-day.

For disorders: Taking aroma steam with basil or eucalyptus oil in the day time relieves congested muscles, tissues and tones them and also helps in sinus disorders. Create your own room aroma before going to bed with one drop of either jasmine, lavender or sandalwood oil either through diffuser, candle or by putting the drop on the pillow. If you are having a work schedule which requires high concentration, use basil, lavender and lemon grass aroma oils (one drop each mixed together) and spray in the room in the morning. Never use before sleep.

Dos and don'ts for would-be brides
- Drink as much water as possible (minimum 5 litres/10 glasses in a day)
- Increase intake of fresh fruits and juices
- Eat green vegetables and leafy salad to reduce any kind of hormonal or changes in the haemoglobin level
- Non-aerated drinks should be taken
- Avoid fried foods
- Keep smiling and have a positive attitude

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Handbag essentials you should always carry

A hand-bag is a girl's best-friend. No really! It is. And here's a list of basic and unexpected items that could transform your purse into your very own survival-cum-makeup-cum-keep-boredom away kit.

Sanitizer: One word for you, germs. Keep them away with a good sanitizer. Better safe than sorry

Facewash: With so much dust, grime, you need to take care of your skin. Keep a small tube of face wash with you. Even soap paper strips help.

Wet wipes: Liquids have a tendency to spill. Having wet wipes on you will save you from spending the entire day with sticky hands.

Pins, clips: A ripped seam, a button popping off, it happens to the best of us. Be prepared with a couple of these pointy friends in your bag.

Double-sided tape/sticky tape: An odd thing to keep in your bag. But trust me, very useful in case of a wardrobe malfunction.

Aspirin/motion-sickness pills and a few other basic meds: You never know when that headache or nausea will crop up

Sanitary pads: Self-explanatory this one.

Deodorant: Body odour is an absolute no-no. Keep a good deo with you at all times for a quick spray in times of need.

A bar of your favourite chocolate/energy bar/apple(or a similar fruit): Munchies are tricky blighters. They'll hit you when you least expect it. A bar of chocolate can save you a lot of crankiness. And besides, it's a mood elevator.

A pen and a notepad: You never know when you'll need to jot things down. Running around looking for a pen when that cute guy in a hurry is offering to give you his number can be such a waste of time.

A small tub of petroleum jelly: Invaluable commodity this one. Can be used for chapped lips, dull hair (yes, it does work if you apply it to the ends of your hair) and as a moisturiser.

A good book/magazine: For all the times that there are unexpected delays.

A lighter: It's a good idea to carry one even if you don't smoke. It won't just be useful if the lights go out, worse come to worse, it can be used a 'weapon' as well.

Equip yourself with these basic essentials, and you'll be prepared for (almost) all eventualities.

sindoora.iyer@timesgroup.com

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

The new yoga craze in the city

We find out why the student community is going gaga over Power Yoga

Call it Absolute Yoga, Artistic Yoga or yoga with any fancy prefix, fact is that Power Yoga is the new mantra that youngsters in the city are swearing by. Popularised by Hollywood biggies Jennifer Aniston, Bon Jovi and Lady Gaga, this form of yoga is also endorsed by stars like Kareena Kapoor and Shilpa Shetty. Closer home, with even Tollywood actresses Nithya Menen and Aditi Agarwal taking a shine for it, it's no surprise that city youngsters are following suit. And well, they have their reasons.

For that svelte look

One of the major reasons why youngsters are getting hooked to Power Yoga is to lose weight. In fact, the footfalls in gyms are being hit, thanks to this new craze. Maria Khan, an engineering student of Gitam says, "I was overweight when I joined college. So, I joined a gym and even used to diet for months together, but nothing seemed to work. On the advice of a friend, I joined a Power Yoga class. The results have been amazing. I lost 5 kgs in two months!"

Giving insights into how Power Yoga aids weight loss, Rajesh Babu, who trained Tollywood celebs like Nithya Menon and Aditi Agarwal, says, "Power Yoga involves a fusion technique that increases the functional aspects as well as the flexibility of the human body and at the same time, burns fat effectively without having to diet. It is completely different from traditional yoga."

Traditional yoga vs Power yoga

While Power Yoga seems to be popular with youngsters wanting to lose weight, traditional yoga is favoured by college students for various other health benefits. Seema Das, an intermediate student, says, "I used to suffer from short-term memory. I used to panic during exams and college debates. So my mom enrolled me in a yoga class. Apart from the breathing exercises, asanas like makrasan, savasan and sukhasan helped me calm down and now I am able to deal with stress in a better way."

When it comes to meditation and improving concentration, for city students, traditional yoga is their first choice. Nishit, an engineering student, says, "Traditional yoga helps in attaining inner peace better than any other fancy yoga. It has improved my concentration and patience levels. Even my eyesight has improved after taking up eye exercises like trataka, hatha and shambhavimudra that involve palming, blinking and focussing.

Yoga teacher Sravan Teerupally, who teaches a group of college students, puts in a word of caution for those trying new fads. He says, "Traditional yoga is slow and the various asanas involve meditation coupled with breathing exercises. Power Yoga is not a bad thing, but it needs to be done the right way, otherwise the chances of injuring joints, ligaments and muscles is high. A certified trainer is essential for learning any kind of yoga and new forms of yoga need special attention."

leena.sri@timesgroup.com

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

10 Cruel things women do to men

Despite being known as the fairer sex, women can be downright nasty and often do cruel things to men.

Now, Fox News has compiled a list of top 10 cruel things that women do to men and how they play with the guy's emotions or ego.

10. They don't pick up the phone
While men feel good as they manage to take the girls' phone number, the girls often give them a fake number or don't pick up the call.

9. Use men for free drinks
Some women go out never planning to spend any of their own money on drinks at the bar or club. Instead, they count on their feminine wiles to convince guys to shell out for their libations. While some of them might begin to get to know him, the cruel and heartless ones will take that drink, flirt a little and move on.

8. Use men as placeholders
If she is a decent person, she'll just get it over with and dump the boy, but if she's cruel, she'll hold on to him for a while until somebody new comes along. These girls don't like to be alone and without a relationship, so instead of putting you out of your misery and ending it, she'll string you along until she meets someone to replace you.

7. Emotionally manipulate men
Men don't like to see women cry and some cruel women take advantage of the fact and use it to get what they want. A few tears would make men do anything to get it to stop.

6. Use physical violence
While men hitting girls are often termed nasty, some cruel women feel it's perfectly acceptable to hit their boyfriends, as he would never hit her back. This type of woman feels like she can inflict any kind physical pain on him without fear of repercussion.

5. Criticize their men in public
Cruel women criticize and humiliate their men in public places. They often poke fun at her man or even soundly debase him.

4. They don't disclose their relationship status
It's certainly not the worst thing a woman could do to a man, but it is annoying when she's already in a relationship and lets you assume that she's available so that she can enjoy the man's flirtation and flattery.

3. They withhold sex
This is a time-tested, and frequently used, cruel thing for women to do to men. For most men, sex is as important as breathing, so withholding it in order to get something she wants or simply to punish her man for his transgressions is a pretty awful thing to do, even if it is effective.

2. They test their men
You're all ready to go for a night out with your friends, when your girlfriend calls and asks you to change your plans to be with her instead. She doesn't have any particular reason; she just wants to see you. She knows that you had plans to meet up with the guys, but if you really loved her, you'd come over to her place instead. If her request comes with an "if you really loved me," then it's a test. If you choose anything other than immediately rushing to her side, you're going to fail. This kind of testing in a relationship is indeed cruel and petty.

1. They flirt to inspire jealousy
Maybe she's feeling underappreciated, maybe you've just had a big fight or maybe she just enjoys the tortured look on your face. For whatever reason, girls who flirt obviously with other guys in front of their boyfriends are immature and manipulative.

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Bakery makes giant shortbread in Spain

A Spanish pastry bakery created a "polvoron" - a type of shortbread - that weighed 300 kg and distributed it Wednesday among 10,000 people at a mall in this southern city.

For the sixth consecutive year, Mantecados La Muralla baked this gigantic Christmas polvoron and brought it from its facilities to Malaga.

The polvoron was 5 meters long and 2.40 meters wide and weighed 300 kg.

A total of 120 kg of wheat flour, 75 kg of almonds, 50 kg of sugar, 50 kg of lard and 5 kg of cinnamon were used in its preparation, the factory manager, Jose Luis Olmedo, told EFE.

It could not be made any larger because "it wouldn't fit" into the truck that was to be used to transport it, Olmedo said.

The idea arose in 2001 in Seville and since then the company has prepared the world's largest polvoron for several southern Spanish provinces, as well as for Madrid and Badajoz.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

High-heeled troubles

High on heels for the fashion conscious gals can be worth giving a second thought

1. The posture is affected since the lower part has to bend forward and to compensate for that the upper body has to lean backwards. A totally wrong posture.

2. Since you foot is in a downward position, your hip flexor muscles have to work harder to push the ground for you to move forward. Hence putting stress on your knees.

3. High heels make your foot move in an outward position, putting you at a risk of spraining your ankle.

4. Your normal s-curve back shape is not maintained, putting pressure on your spine.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Gender decorum should be taught in schools: Writer

As a 23-year-old brutalised and gangraped victim fights for her life in the capital, novelist, columnist and award-winning documentary filmmaker Madhuri Banerjee ascribes the rise in gender crime in India to the bias against the girl child and says "gender decorum" and respect for women should be inculcated in boys at the school level.

She says as a woman, one needs to be far more sensitive to sexual repression - and stand up for a cause.

"Or else, some day, my four-and-a-half-year-old daughter will question me: 'Mama what did you do when the nation was fighting for this girl in the national capital,'" Banerjee said in an interview.

The Mumbai-based writer, who was in the capital to launch her new romantic fiction, "Mistakes Like Love and Sex" (Penguin-India), cancelled the launch of her book on Friday and television interviews to express her solidarity with the victim.

"It is a gender crime that has touched everyone in the country," she said of the Dec 16 night incident when six men gangraped and tortured the 23-year-old physiotherapist in a moving bus. All six men have been arrested, even as spontaneous protests erupted in various parts of the capital and in many cities across India. On Friday, the protesters even managed to reach the gates of the Rashtrapati Bhavan presidential palace.

Banerjee, whose "Between Dualities" won her the national award for the best documentary on women's issues, said "the root of the problem lay in wanting a male child."

"A boy is like the 'ghar ka chirag' (the light of home). Every man who is earning in crore likes to give power to the boy. Why can't a girl pay and file tax returns or take on the father's mantle," Banerjee asked, probing the link between gender inequity and sexual vulnerability in the context of the economics and power structure in society.

The natural psyche of a woman - perpetuated down the generations by mothers and grandmothers - spurs her to take on more responsibility, the writer said.

"Without realising, a woman gives the male ego a boost by managing multiple roles of a mother, housewife and a professional. Add to this the sexual obligation - the man usually expects a woman to have sex at night even if she is tired and not in the mood. But if a woman wants to have sex, she is labelled aggressive. No man in a relationship or a marriage will say I am an equal partner," Banerjee explained of the latent power play in a man-woman relationship.

The mindset of an average Indian male was if "I don't get it (physical intimacy) at home, I will get it outside," the writer said. This unrequited libido that drives men to seek pleasure outside often manifests as "gender atrocities in the form of rape".

Even at a party, a man usually tries to suppress a woman's upbeat emotional mood with an oft-mouthed refrain, "Let's have another drink", Banerjee said, pointing to gender imbalances in life in the fast lane.

"No parent in India is talking to their son about sex and sexual behaviour. The attitude is 'He is a little naughty... let him be'. I am completely appalled by a situation where a man can get away with a situation and a woman is not comfortable walking around in jeans," she added.

Banerjee, who puts her finger on the pulse of man-woman relationships in her column "Love Guru" in the Asian Age, often addresses such concerns. Her first book, "Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas", an anthology of her columns, explores changing notions of sexuality in a contemporary India.

She believes the need to inculcate "gender decorum" is more important than sex education at the school level.

"We need basic respect for women at the school level so that girls as young as four years' old can walk up to their teachers and complain of eve-teasing. At 14, they need not be afraid to speak up against harassment," she said.

In this era of anger in society, "perhaps the only emotion we can cling to is good old romance", she said, adding: "Love saves the day."

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Stack up on chunky bangles

A number of bangles and bracelets adorning your wrist is the trend of the season

Are you fond of junk jewellery? Do you like to sport the latest trends when it comes to accessorising your look with necklaces, earrings and bracelets? Well, here's one trend that will add the glam touch to your look - stack up a number of bangles and bracelets on your wrist and keep yourself on top of the style charts.

Girls are now decorating their wrists not just with traditional Indian wear, but also with casual and formal wear. If you thought that mixing and matching a number of bangles with your outfit would be task, think again! Mixing different colours and textures is where the trick lies in following this trend. This trend can uplift even a simple look of a casual tee teamed with denims.Wooden, metal, plastic, glass, steel, gem-studded, you can adorn your wrists with any kind of a cuff and a bunch of other simple bangles and you'll be grabbing eyeballs for sure!

So cuff up your wrist and stack it up with a number of bangles before you step out on the street and make heads turn.

ano.patel@timesgroup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

6 recipes you loved the most in 2012

The concept of good food changes every year - from experimenting with flavours to innovations in cooking style, the gastronomical experience undergoes a complete revision. The year 2012 too was full of surprises.

We bring you an assortment of the most popular recipes of 2012 - healthy portions of starters and salads, a traditional Indian main course, a comforting vegetable pasta dish, and two chic desserts.

1. Green Apple, Walnut and Lettuce Salad

Ingredients:

Lettuce 2 nos., Green apple (or pears) 2 nos., Walnuts, a handful and Feta cheese 5-6 cubes.

For dressing:

1 tbsp honey, Salt, a pinch, a pinch of pepper, 2 tsp lime juice and 2 tsp olive oil.

Method:

Strip the lettuce leaves and cut them into smaller shreds. Slice the gree

n apples (or pears), and add them to a large bowl along with the lettuce. Take whole walnuts and add them to the mix. Toss properly. Add the feta cheese from top. Separately in a small bowl mix honey, salt, pepper, lemon juice and olive oil, and stir properly. Dress the salad just before eating so that the veggies and fruits don't lose their flavours or turn soggy.

2. Pepper Rasam

Ingredients:

100 gm Tomato, 50 gm Tamarind, 1 tsp Whole black pepper, 1 tsp Cumin seeds, 2 Cloves of garlic, 2 gm Turmeric powder, Few curry leaves, Salt to taste, 1 gm Coriander leaves, 750 ml Water, Seasoning, 10 gm Ghee, 2 gm Mustard seeds, 1 gm Curry leaves and 2 gm Red chilli whole.

Method:

Soak the tamarind in a cup of warm water, extract its juice and throw away the pulp. Grind cumin seeds, pepper and garlic for a few seconds in a mixer. Take a cup of tamarind extract, add chopped tomatoes, turmeric powder, crushed pepper, cumin, garlic, salt and curry leaves. Boil them together. Once it starts boiling, keep the flame low and let it simmer for 10-15 minutes or until the raw smell of the tamarind goes off. Heat a tsp of ghee and add mustard seeds to it. When it begins to splutter, add the red chilli, curry leaves and pour it over the Rasam.

(Recipe courtesy: The Crowne Plaza, Rohini, New Delhi)

3. Bengali recipe: Kosha Mangsho

Ingredients:

750 grams mutton, 3 medium si

zed potatoes cut into equal halves (Optional), 1-2 tbsp of mustard oil to fry the potatoes, 3-4 medium sized onions, 1 tsp garam masala, and 1 ½ tsp meat masala.

To marinate the mutton:

7-8 cloves of garlic, 1 ½ inch thick ginger, 2 tsp turmeric powder, 1 ½ tsp red pepper powder, 1 tsp coriander powder, 1 ½ tsp salt and 4 heaped tbsp of yogurt.

To temper:

10 - 12 black peppers (uncrushed), 3 bay leaves, 4 whole cardamoms, 5 cloves, 1½ inch long cinnamon stick, 1 tsp of sugar and 1½ cup mustard oil.

Method:

Marinating the mutton - Bring together garlic, ginger and onions. Grind them together in a mixer to make a smooth paste. Wash and clean the mutton. Add to it the ingredients for the marinade - yogurt, turmeric powder, coriander powder, red pepper powder, some musta

rd oil, and half of the ginger/garlic/onion paste. Let it rest for about 2 hours. If you have time on your hands, let it rest overnight. Ensure that you prick the mutton with a fork so that it absorbs all the flavours. Heat 2 tbsp mustard oil in a wok. Fry the potatoes till they turn golden brown. Keep them aside.

Cooking the mutton - Heat the remaining mustard oil in another wok. Add some turmeric to it. Then, temper it with the black pepper, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, cloves, and cardamom. Also add sugar to it. The sugar gives a nice red colour to the gravy and also contributes to the subtle sweetness of the spicy gravy. Add the remaining onion paste along with meat masala and fry for about 5 minutes. You'll notice the oil separating from the mixture. Now add the marinated mutton. Cook at a low flame for about half and hour. Add 2 cups water (depending on how much gravy you want) and cover the wok. Let the mutton cook for at least an hour now till the mutton becomes soft and succulent. All this while, ensure that the flame is at its lowest. Now, add the fried potatoes and garam masala, and give it good stir. Let it cool for sometime and then sprinkle freshly chopped coriander leaves. Serve hot with either steamed rice, maida luchi (pooris) or parathas. Follow it up with Bengali desserts like mishti doi or soft roshogullas!

4. Broccoli and Mushroom Pasta

Ingredients:

Broccoli 1 floret, 200gm mushrooms sliced, Tomatoes 3 nos., Onions chopped 2 nos., Green chillies chopped 4-5 nos., 60gm green beans, trimmed and halved, 2 tbsp sliced black olives, 60gm green peas, Garlic 3-4 cloves, minced, 1 tbsp butter, Salt as per taste, 4 tbsp olive oil, Oregano, 300gm fusilli pasta and 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese.

Method:

In a large wok bring water to boil, then add salt to it and pour the fusilli into it and let it cook. In the meantime, heat olive oil in a deep pan and add chopped garlic and onions to it. Keep stirring till the onions are nicely caremalized, and then add the tomatoes and mushrooms together (all the greens and the mushrooms should be boiled before cooking). Add some salt and cook till the tomatoes finely blend with the remainder of the mixture and the mushrooms are soft and crunchy. Finally add the broccoli, green peas, green chillies, green beans, and black olives. You could add a dollop of butter soon after and keep stirring. Make sure you don't break the

broccoli florets in doing so. Add salt again if you feel the need. You can also add some chilli flakes if you like your sauce hot. All along keep checking on your pasta whether or not it is cooked. Then drain the water from the pasta and add it to the vegetable sauce. Stir rigorously in medium heat till the sauce forms a nice coat over the pasta. Sprinkle oregano and give it one last stir. Take it out of the fire, and set it in a serving dish. Finally, dust Parmesan over it, and your dish is good to go.

5. Vanilla Creme Brulee

Ingredients:

Milk - 150ml, Sugar - 100gms, Cream - 500ml, Eggs nos. 6 and Vanilla pods - half a stick.

Method:

Boil the milk and cream and add sugar. Allow it to cool. Add the egg yolk and vanilla pod and mix well together. Pour the mixture in a small bowl and place it in a baking tray. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 180 degree Celsius. Garnish with fresh mint sprig. Serve chilled.

(Recipe courtesy: Raasta, a Caribbean lounge, Hauz Khas Village, New Delhi)

6. Yummy Banana Muffins

Ingredients:

250 grams all purpose flour, 75 grams butter, 2 ripe bananas (mashed), 2 eggs, 1 cup milk, 1 tsp vanilla essence, 1 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp cinnamon powder, 1 tbsp honey, 1 cup castor sugar and a pinch of salt.

Method:

Preheat oven at 190 degrees for 5 minutes and melt butter in a pan. In a bowl, sift the flour, baking powder, cinnamon powder and salt, all together. In another bowl, beat the eggs until fluffy. Add to it the vanilla essence, milk, honey, the melted butter and the mashed bananas. Add this mixture slowly to the bowl that has flour, stirring constantly to get a thick and lumpy batter. Grease the muffin moulds with butter/oil and fill them with the batter. Bake them at 190 degrees for at least 25 minutes and allow a stand-by time of 10 minutes later. Serve while they're warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream by the side.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

All babies want to kill their siblings?

Psychoanalyst Juliet Mitchell says "all babies want to kill their siblings." Mirror gets her to decode sibling rivalry

The Thackeray versus Thackeray drama is often interrupted with little demonstrations of affection that bewilder the masses. Do they love each other, or hate each other? And what about the case of Gujarat CM Narendra Modi and his five siblings? Prahlad, his younger brother went on record saying that Modi did not reply to his letters last September.

According to psychoanalyst and founder-director of the Centre for Gender Studies at University of Cambridge, Juliet Mitchell, love-hate relationships are best exemplified by siblings. Mitchell, who was in Mumbai last week, says that the 'Law of the Mother' is established as kids grow older, which is what prevents violence and turns their feelings to competition. This experience, she points out, is central to a person's psychological development. It stems from a toddler's most primal desire, explains Mitchell. "All babies want to kill their siblings."

We caught up with the expert and asked her to expand on her theory.

How does culture affect this "universal desire" of babies wanting to kill their siblings?
There are cultural variations to this generic facet (of sibling relations). For instance, I did a study on African societies where I found that when a child was brushed aside upon the birth of a sibling, the child not only became extremely irritable, he or she actually developed an acute nutritiondeficiency illness called Kwashiorkor. It's so common that it's actually dubbed, "second child illness." I've written about this in my book (Siblings, Sex and Violence). A toddler feels both, intense love and intense jealousy, and the two emotions are placed, almost as though on either sides of a coin - one can turn into the other with a flip, just as a warm hug can quickly turn into a violent squeeze. As kids get older, the 'Law of the Mother' becomes operational. Kids learn not to fight, and jealousy turns into healthy competition, provided the child has found a vent for the violence that was prohibited.

How does the psyche of a single child differ? And don't you mean, "Law of the Parent" - does the absence of a mother completely change sibling relations?
With this desire to kill their sibling, there's also a parallel feeling of guilt. Only children form substitute lateral relations with their peers, but they may subconsciously believe that they have actually managed to kill their sibling. Else, they'd wonder whether their parents didn't love them enough to have another child. Typically, they compensate by being too good to their friends. This can be healthy unless they become too dependent on their friends, in which case it's important to try to counter this streak, by building up their self-esteem. Almost universally, either the mother, or a mother substitute (aunt, nanny or grandmother) looks after the child. In her study of six war orphans who had lived in concentration camps during World War II, psychoanalyst Anna Freud (daughter of Sigmund Freud, known for her work on child psychology) found that with no opportunities to form attachments with caregivers, these children looked after each other. When each was assigned a separate nurse, they started developing rivalries.

It's not considered proper for girls to fight their brothers. Is repressing that violent streak also unhealthy?
The violent games that boys play establish the difference between what their mother defines as legitimate violence. Society is constructed based on these teachings. So, war games and therefore, war itself is deemed okay. Fighting a brother is not. Girls are not encouraged to participate in war games. Women therefore tend to turn their violence inwards - this turns into depression. As psychoanalysts, we mark illnesses with genders and depression is therefore feminine, just as hysteria is, even though male hysteria is far from uncommon. If you don't give a man attention, he will demand it. The Don Juan character, for example, and his life's constant drama, is nothing but male hysteria.

Does sibling rivalry also manifest differently between twins? What about between step siblings?
When there is an age gap of a few years between siblings, there's enough time for the 'Law of the Mother' to have been internalised by the older child. With twins, it's different as they've never had that time. Very often you'd see that one excels at academics, while the other does well at sports. This is just an attempt by the kids to differentiate themselves from one another. Such differentiation avoids conflict, which is why parents and teachers tend to support this. Bonds between half siblings and step siblings form much the same way as with siblings related by blood, if they've grown up together. But there is evidence to suggest that half siblings with the same mother tend to be closer.

Would you want to encourage rivalry?
Anything in extremes is unhealthy. There could be too little individualisation. And, in a culture where marriage is the norm and the bond with one's siblings is strong, it may be hard to transfer that love to a different situation like marriage.

mirrorfeedback@indiatimes.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

17 unexplored, exotic Indian ingredients

Chef Manu Chandra suggests 17 homegrown ingredients that can up the quotient of any plate

I think as one matures as a chef, intrinsically it becomes easier to look around oneself to be inspired and innovate rather than looking too far. Something similar has been happening with me despite my years working abroad and at some stellar restaurants at that. The depth and variety of what is available in our country is often overlooked by the restauranting ethos and instead most embrace hard-to-find western ingredients in the development of their menus and offerings.

While it would be unfair to say that some chefs haven't already attempted and been trying to champion Indian ingredients, I still feel that we have a very long way to go and being able to develop our brand of adopted cuisines (much like France, America, Australia have done).

Here's a list of 17 of perhaps hundreds of relatively unseen or underestimated ingredients, which I feel would add a lot of spunk to any menu, cuisine notwithstanding. Bon appetite.

1. Bathua: A seemingly wild growing green always found in certain parts of North India. Bathua is a fantastic replacement for spinach, which has always been associated with contamination. It's delicious, earthy and lends itself to many applications.

2. Kachampoli: Almost never heard of outside of Coorg, this is India's answer to Balsamic Vinegar even though it's neither sweet nor made with grapes. Watch it transform a non-vegetarian dish with it's deep dark colour and lip-smacking tang.

3. Singhara: This absolutely delicious water vegetable is barely seen on any menu. Peeled and sliced, it would make the most wonderful salad.

4. Makhana: Lotus seeds that have been dried are an incredible way to thicken sauces and gravies after frying and powdering. It's a great snack too, albeit a little heavy.

5. Bhetki: Despite the battle between the sea fish vs the fresh water fish lovers, the glorious Bhetki stands out as an outstanding fish. Its suppleness is a close second to the phenomenally expensive and imported varieties of bass. I would pass up a John Dory for a good Bhetki any day.

6. Melon seeds: So used are we to seeing pine nuts on menus, that we often forget how delicious roasted melon seeds can be. I've found them equally enticing on pastas, salads and even desserts. A must try.

7. Bhut Jhalokia: Also known as the Naga chili, I find myself reading more about this in foreign media than seeing it in our own restaurants. It's got a kick that will make most people chuck out the imported bottles of hot sauce.

8. Gondhoraj lemon: By far one of my favorite citrus flavours, the perfumey fragrance from this north-eastern lemon can convert the simplest dish into a stunner. Infuse it in a little vodka, or try a sorbet with it. A lemon tart with some zest and juice from the gondhoraj can give key lime pies a run for its money.

9. Kalimpong Cheese: Almost Gouda like, this cheese from Sikkim probably has a very small production, but can fool the finest of gourmets. Watch it transform the most humble bake or a simple chili cheese toast, if you can get your hands on it, that is.

10. Rhododendron: Literally the rose tree, these beautiful flowers from the hills of Nainital and around, make for the most amazing drinks and coolers. Instead of lapping up artificial green apple syrups in martinis, it would be fabulous to see bartenders adapt to this refreshingly different ingredient.

11. Kashundhi: Bengali cuisine would be unimaginable without this. This sharp and well- rounded mustard still remains within the confines of Bengali cuisine. Try it in dressings, as a condiment on steaks and fish, or even a sandwich spread and English mustard may not seem so attractive after all.

12. Jaggery: For a country that almost knew no refined sugar, the jump to white sugar and caramel-coloured refined sugar seem odd. Jaggery in its many forms still makes for an excellent sweetener for confections and puddings. Some practice will get you stunning results.

13. Mustard and sesame oils: So here we are, a nation with a rich enough history of our own oils with arguably as many health benefits as some other oils; yet we look at the olive for gourmet reasons. Not true. Both sesame and mustard oils have amazing flavour characteristics and make some great dressings, sautes, marinades etc. Pick up a bottle of each for your kitchens today.

14. Aam Ada: This ginger root which has the most keen palates confused owing to its distinctively green mango flavour can be an amazing addition to soups, broths and relishes. It's again seen in very isolated cuisines, but I'm sure can gain a following as much as lemongrass if marketed well.

15. Indian Vanilla Bean: Many people will be unaware that some excellent Vanilla grows in the hills of Chikmaglur and Coorg and any place with coffee plantations. Substitute the sub par artificial essence with some caviar from a vanilla bean and watch a dessert move a step closer to Nirvana.

16. Golden Apple: As children one almost looked forward to apple season (yes, we ate seasonally as early as 20 years ago) for those incredibly juicy and sweet Golden Apples from Himachal. Today I'm hard pressed to find them. Instead I can easily settle for pretty, waxy and tasteless imported green and red apples. Eat an apple pie made from golden apples, and a whole generation may rethink the apple (edible) completely.

17. Gulkand: A stalwart of the pan shop, gulkand in all its rosy and sweet avatar can be an amazing ingredient. It's mellow yet lucid on the palate. Try it with cheesecake or with nuts and honey on warm almond cookies.

saadia.dhailey@timesgroup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Be organised at your workplace

Can't find that file in which you have stocked all your important documents? Did you recently find month old food coupons dumped at the back of your drawer? If so, it's high time to re-group and get rid of that messy desk.

All that clutter in your cubicle can cause stress and negatively affect your productivity. Organizing your desk and work routine will help you focus on your work better. Here are a few desk clean up and cubicle organising tips.

Tips to organize your work space:

Planning is worth the effort
Planning isn't as boring and time-consuming activity as you think it is. Proper planning will give you the overall picture of you tasks at work. It saves time and energy. Plan your day and this will help you slot timings for your meetings and other tasks. You will be successfully able to pull items together in a short amount of time.

Streamline your supplies
Keep only supplies you need on a daily basis on top of your work area. Your drawer at work is just like your cupboard at home. So rearrange it in a way that things that you hardly use are at the bottom. Discard the excess, duplicates and out-of-date items.

Take small steps
Take it one by one. Break large projects down into small and schedule these steps into your day. Spend no more than 30 minutes tackling one task or area. Do one thing at a time.

Communicate effectively
You may wonder how communication can help tidy up your desk, but concise and clear communication can cut down on paper messages, emails and time spent on the phone. Be clear when communicating to others, especially when leaving a message on voice mail or email. This way you are more likely to get a full response, even if the other party doesn't reach you directly.

File it, don't pile it
Create a filing system that works for you. Even a "to file" bin or folder is okay as long as you tend to it on a regular basis. In addition, open and process all mail. Don't let mail pile up.

Manage your time
In order to have a more organized, balanced work style, you need more time. We can't control how many hours are in a day, but successful people spend their time wisely. Figure out the tasks that need to be done and set an appropriate time in which to do them.

Energize your work routine
Work can be boring, you may feel sleepy but there are ways you can breathe new life into your daily grind. The change in routine will not only energize your brain and body, it will even readjust your attitude. Take 10 minute breaks or go for a walk to feel fresh and better.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

What your choice of poison says...

Your choice of poison at a party says a lot about you. Mixologist Ankit Negandhi decodes

Your affinity for a drink says a lot about you. And observing what that interesting person at the bar is ordering will help you plan a strategy of approach. Ankit Negandhi, mixologist and owner of Barwings Hospitality, shares his observations about what you consume and what it says about your personality.

Dark rum and cola
Even if someone offers you a million bucks, you will not switch your loyalty to the drink. You are sorted in your head and don't have second thoughts. You don't like to show off and don't feel ashamed to order a cheap drink when everyone else is ordering expensive cocktails. You have experienced various facets of life and know what's good and bad for you. You are highly confident and sure about yourself. You follow your instinct and believe in your ability.

When to order: At a house party

Long Island Ice Tea
You are a notorious character. You like your own company and don't care for others at a party. You are there to purely enjoy the music and the party. Known to be aggressive and assertive about your point of view, pretentious wannabes turn you off. You do what you believe is right. It is this attitude that endears you to the opposite sex. Sometimes, you can be uncaring and stubborn. You'd probably do the bhangra on a hip-hop number.
When to order: It gets you high fast with its varieties of alcohol. Order when you are not driving.

Mojito: You are not the one to go home after a tiring day. You love to work hard and party harder. Your boss is quite impressed and friends love to hang out with you. You are dependable and have a good sense of humour. You like to live life to the maximum. You are patient and are willing to try out new experiences in life. You believe learning never stops and are constantly improving yourself.

When to order: Mojito is a strong drink and an instant mood switcher. Order it when feeling stressed, after a hard day's work.

Martini: Most people in India don't know what a Martini is and have it because of James Bond. If you like it shaken and not stirred, you're probably in your 20s and want to stand apart from the world. You dress posh on most occasions and like to make a strong impression on the opposite sex, and your bosses. You believe in style. Temper the style quotient, lest you be branded a wannabe.
When to order: Martini doesn't get you high as quickly. It's perfect at client or business dinner.

Scotch
You prefer to go with the tried-and-tested. You are not much of a risk taker. You are very much a person of routine and don't like it when things become disorganised. You might get bored, yet you will stick to what you know because it offers security. You need to go out there and experience life more.
When to order: On a chilly winter evening.

Beer
You are impatient and want » to achieve everything in life quickly. You are witty and easy to get along with. You are low maintenance and usually don't have hang-ups about things. You are a very honest person and are there for your friends in good times and bad. You have a problem in submitting to a higher authority. You may be conservative and average in many areas of life.
When to order: On a hot sunny afternoon.

Shooters
Tequila shot drinkers will die of boredom when life becomes too predictable. You have a wide circle of friends but no tolerance for dullards. You are adventurous and a risk taker. You do it first and think about it later. You feel life is a challenge and you must meet it head on. You are always pushing the limit of your boundaries.
When to order: Tequila shots hit you hard; order them to get a birthday
party swinging.

Ankit.Ajmera@timesgroup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

3 Best spa vacation destinations

If you're the kind of person who believes in taking a short break and going on a vacation every year, we've got the perfect vacation plan for you. Give the hill stations and beach destinations rest; instead opt for a relaxing and rejuvenating spa holiday this time. We list down some of the best spa vacation destinations of the world.

Phuket, Bangkok

Thanks to Bangkok's massage culture, Phuket is fast becoming a spa haven. Offering various spa options,be it the Cheraim Spa Village or the much-acclaimed Banyan Tree, you can have a tranquil vacation here, by treating yourself to modern treatments as well as Thai massage like Nuat Phaen Boran!

Istanbul, Turkey

Think Istanbul and you'll think of rejuvenating Turkish baths! Naturally, a trip to this city is incomplete without experiencing an ancient Turkish bath. Cagaloglu Hamam, a classical Ottoman wonder that's almost 270 years old is one of the best known ones, especially if you're looking for a traditional Turkish massage along with sweet Turkish tea.

Negril, Jaimaica

If you're looking for health and relaxation resorts, right from holistic havens to popular resorts, you should visit Negril in Jamaica. This laid-back resort is famous for its glorious white sands as they offer a number of massage treatments, which you can enjoy throughout your stay.

purvaja.sawant@timesgroup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

5 reasons to throw a house party

If you have been playing with the idea of not throwing a party in the house, we give you reasons to reconsider your decision.

The mantra to a successful house party is simple — good food, great music and an excellent company! And when you can have it all inside your cosy little abode, why go out and spend a fortune on that New Year's Eve disco night at the club? We give you five reasons you should chuck the night-put plan and throw a party at home.

Cut the cost: We all agree that partying out is expensive, and spending a horrendous amount only on one night of fun is a little stupid, don't you think? Buy the booze and bring it home, and if you're not a DIY-dinner person, get the food home-delivered as well. Even then it will cost you only half the amount (or even lesser) you would have spent at the night club. What's more, you can ask each of your friends to bring a food item along with them, even if it's a bag of chips.

The party never stops: Very few places around the city are open till late at night. So what do you do when the DJ plays his last song or the bartender serves the last drink for the evening? It's a bummer when you have to head home when you've only started enjoying. However, that's not going to happen at home. Whatever the hour the clock chimes, the party never stops.

Music for every mood: Who likes all the songs that are played at the club? Most of the time you feel like listening to a particular number, yet you have to wait your turn at the request counter. At home, the remote's in your hands! Make a party special playlist with club music and trance and play it or change it according to your fancy. After all, it's your party.

Freedom of speech: The deafening sound, the increased bass effect, may be fun for a while but after a while when the chatting starts, it causes a hindrance. No one likes shouting at the top of their voice to be heard. At home, the music volume is kept moderate and therefore friendly conversations are encouraged.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Women can spot unfaithful men easily

Research has shown that women can judge a man's fidelity simply by studying his face.

Signs of a male who is prone to cheating include classic masculine features, such as a wide, angular jaw, a square chin and a prominent brow, the Daily Mail reported.

Women with wandering eye, however, can rest easy, as the study showed men to be poor at reading female faces.

The finding comes from Australian researchers who began by recruiting almost 200 volunteers and photographing them.

The men and women were also asked how attractive they thought they were and whether they had cheated when in a relationship in the past.

They were also asked about poaching - or embarking on an affair with someone who was already in a relationship.

While they might have been single themselves, this sort of behaviour could be a sign of "low commitment to monogamous values," the research team said.

Sixty eight strangers were then shown the head and shoulders shots and asked to rate how likely they were to be unfaithful.

The women were "modestly accurate" at picking out male love-rats.

Analysis showed that they weren't simply drawn to faces they felt were generally not to be trusted. Instead, they were linking masculinity with infidelity.

In contrast, the men were poor at picking out the women who had a history of cheating.

The study's co-author, Professor Leigh Simmons, said that females may have become better at the task because they have more to lose if their lover leaves them holding the baby.

The University of Western Australia research team summed up: "We conclude that impressions of sexual faithfulness from faces have a kernel of truth, at least for women, and that they may help people assess the quality of potential mates about whom they have minimal behavioural information."

The study has been published in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Foods that fight high cholesterol

High cholesterol is one of the main causes of heart problems in people around the world. Changing what you eat can lower this high cholesterol and improve your lipid profile.

"Improving high cholesterol can be done in two simple steps," says Dr. Eileen Canday - Chief Dietician at Breach Candy Hospital, "The two simple steps are: Add foods that lower LDL - the harmful cholesterol-carrying particle that contributes to artery-clogging atherosclerosis and at the same time, cut back on foods that boost LDL."

Given, in this gallery, are some foods that will give you polyunsaturated fats, which directly lower LDL. And some foods containing sterols and stanols, which help block the body from absorbing cholesterol. Let's learn to keep high cholesterol in check and have a look at these helpful foods...

Foods that fight high cholesterol #1: Oats are high on every "foods to lower cholesterol" list, due to the simple fact that they are rich in fiber. The soluble fiber contained in oatmeal will reduce the LDL levels in your body, and even 5 or 10 grams of this fiber will be instrumental in helping lower your cholesterol.

Oats also contain beta-glucol, which helps to absorb the LDL cholesterol, process it, and expel it from the body in your excrement.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #2: Fish is one of the best foods to lower cholesterol, as it contains Omega-3 fatty acids that will be instrumental in improving your overall heart health. Those who have already suffered heart attacks from high cholesterol will find that the Omega-3 fatty acids prevent sudden death from heart problems.

Omega-3 fatty acids also increase the levels of HDL in the body, thus helping to combat the LDL more effectively. The best fish to eat include mackerel, salmon, albacore tuna, halibut, sardines, herring and lake trout.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #3: Nuts are some of the best foods to lower cholesterol, as they are rich in polyunsaturated fats. Walnuts, almonds are some of the nuts that are top cholesterol lowering foods, as long as they aren't salted.

It is important to only eat a small amount of nuts every day, and you should eat no more than a handful.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #4: Beans are excellent for your heart, though all legumes will help lower your high cholesterol. Beans are high in fiber, and they contain a lot of protein that is low in fat. "Studies have shown that beans can help to lower cholesterol by as much as 8% with only half a cup of beans eaten regularly," says Dr. Eileen.

Beans help to slow down the body's absorption of cholesterol, and black beans and kidney beans are two of the foods near the top of the low cholesterol foods list.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #5: Garlic helps lower cholesterol. It fights the plaque that would clog your arteries by preventing the cholesterol particles from clinging to the arterial walls. No more than four cloves are necessary, though two per day is the minimum amount to experience the amazing benefits of the garlic.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #6: Fibre in fruits helps lower cholesterol. Apples, pears, grapes strawberries, citrus fuits and grapefruit contain soluble fibre, which helps lower cholesterol.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #7: Spinach helps lower cholesterol, as it contains lutein. Lutein is regarded as one of the best nutrients to protect the walls of your arteries against the cholesterol that would cling to them and form blockages.

Foods that fight high cholesterol #8: Olive oil is rich in monounsaturated fats that fight high LDL cholesterol levels.

If you have high cholesterol, avoid these foods:

The saturated fats found in red meat and milk can raise the level of LDL enormously. Hence cut back on saturated fat to lead a healthy life. Use olive oil instead of butter, and try baking/roasting chicken instead of frying it.

Read more Personal Health, Diet & Fitness stories on www.healthmeup.com

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

To stay or not to stay at home

To work or stay home — that's a decision many women need to make when they've had a baby. To ensure that their child is well taken care of, many mothers choose to stay home.

On the contrary, a study by American Psychological Association points out, working mothers may actually be the ones who are better off at raising children when compared to those who stay at home. The study also reported that working mothers enjoyed better health, lesser signs of depression and contributed more to a child's overall learning opportunities. The ladies in Pune voice their opinions on the same.

Not true
Stay-home mums are the ones who have to let go of their ambitions and desires in order to take care of their child, say a few. Actor Manini Mishra says, "The mother who stays home instead of working sacrifices her aspirations and career to ensure that her child is well taken care of. It is not easy to stay home, look after the house and also take care of the child." Manini feels that stay-home mums contribute as much as a working mother does or perhaps even more.

Absolutely right
Women are known to be good at multitasking, point out others. Multi-tasking directly relates more efficiency. Actor Poonam Dhillon explains, "Working women are always more capable and are good at multi-tasking. Working mums put in a lot more effort to ensure they get to spend some quality time with their children too. This contributes to the overall development of the child."

SOS Mummy!
Actor Smita Jaykar feels that stay-home mums make their children dependent on them for everything. She explains, "Stay-home mums tend to spoon-feed their children. This curbs their independence." Smita also says she finds that her children are a lot more independent than most kids their age.

Not applicable
A few others are of the opinion that since these studies are conducted abroad, they have no relevance in India. Actor Renuka Shahane stresses on the health aspect. "This study does not hold good for the women in India. Whether a woman is working or not working, her work pressure remains the same. In the west, once women are back home, they relax and rejuvenate. That is not the case here. A woman has to handle so many more things here, and that could lead to a lot of stress," she explains.

Work is happiness
Personal happiness is always a driving force while taking crucial decisions, feel others. Actor Manjari Phadnis elaborates, "The mothers who stay at home tend to centre their lives around their children. Working mothers, on the other hand, learn to manage home and career and do both well. And managing them both gives them a sense of accomplishment."

Don't worry, be happy
Film-maker Chitra Palekar feels that is 'no such thing as this is better than that'. "If you are able to spend quality time with your child, then nothing like it. Being happy and the providing the space your child needs is the way to go about it." As long as both the mother and child are happy, it is bound to contribute to the growth of the child.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Five must-have beige things in your closet

Here's a list of five beige things that are a must in your closet.

Jacket: A nice, well-tailored beige jacket can change your simple dress to a sophisticated garment. It can be worn with a coloured T-shirt.

Shoes: Beige footwear in any form — shoes, pumps, wedges etc can add glamour and style to your entire outfit. The added advnatage is that these go with any outfit. They look great with both Indian and western wear.

Bags: Beige-coloured bags are always in fashion. The size of it doesn't matter, but the colour sure does!

Skirt: Formal or casual, a beige-colored skirt can be matched with any coloured blouse or top.

Linherie: Beige-coloured lingerie is the solution if you are confused about the colour of the undergarment to wear under a white or a light coloured dress.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Tete-a-tete with Chef Vikas Khanna

Chef Vikas Khanna in a hearty chat with TOI on a recent visit to the city.

The minute the doors open, he is swarmed with women holding plates full of food and asking for photographs (not in that order though!). Chef Vikas Khanna is an affable person in real life too as he strikes an instant connect with people, posing for pictures and giving out cooking tips, his ill-health notwithstanding. For someone whose culinary journey started off when he started to help his grandmother in the kitchen to owning a Michelin star restaurant in New York, Vikas has come a long way. But he says, "The journey has not yet started. I have just bought the ticket and there's a long way to go." Vikas was in Ahmedabad to audition for Masterchef India Season 3.

About the new season of the show, he says, "Home-cooked food was not much in focus in the previous season of the show. We are hoping to change that. The real cooks in India are homemakers and food is religion here." Vikas has authored seven books, and he admits that he is continuously writing, even while travelling in the car. He says, "I did not know much English. But to be in the US and to tell the story of my food, I had to learn English. Whether it's movies or books, what they write about our country is only a superficial portrayal. There are many more facets we need to talk about. That compelled me to turn to writing. I never aimed at becoming a writer."

Vikas who was once voted among the Top 50 Sexiest Men Alive list, by a magazine and is known as one of the Hottest Chefs in the world, says, "I think food, which has a sensuous effect on our minds. In any context related to food, I'd be sexy, otherwise I am not really sexy." By his own admission, until four years ago Vikas was so shy, that he didn't even meet Richard Gere during a dinner at a film festival. He says, "I had to change because of survival. I want to go out and tell people — you have stereotyped our nation, but you cannot stereotype our cuisine."

Talking about the fundraiser hosted for Barack Obama, Vikas talks about his love for Gujarat and the food here and he says, "That cooking was a tribute to Gandhi and Gujarat; I did not cook Punjabi food. In fact, whenever I speak to President Obama, there is not one conversation that goes without talking about Gandhi. I can cook very good steaks, yes Americans love steaks. But I instead cooked the Gujarati sheera."

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Discover Italy like never before

Those who go off the beaten track, write for us. The unusual suspects Northern Italy is underrated as a tourist trail. You will be charmed by its picturesque villages, cobbled lanes and quaint piazzas.

Mediterranean coasts and Michelangelo's works are the first images that pop into your head when you think of Italy. But give the north a chance and it's bound to give stiff competition to its more touristy brethren down south. Gondola rides and Roman piazzaz are passe; so throw away your old itinerary and hit the trail of the lesser known Italy to get floored the way I was.

Trieste
Trieste, which lies towards the end of a narrow strip of land between the Adriatic Sea and Italy's border with Slovenia, was the first place I visited. A prosperous seaport of yesteryears and a major shipping centre today, Trieste is at the head of the Gulf of Trieste and makes for a pretty picture. As I walked along the sea front dotted with hotels and restaurants, I stumbled into the typical city square characteristic of Italy. Dominated by colossal buildings on three sides and complete with a heavily sculpted fountain in the centre, the square is the throbbing heart of Trieste. From pizzerias to beer joints and street musicians, the quarter has all the elements of a city that loves to holiday.

What interested me more was the fact that at one point, Trieste had been a major hub of music and literature. I was overjoyed to see a little pink building being pointed out as the former home of one of my favourite writers, James Joyce. We crossed Trieste for a lunch stop at Muggia, a picturesque village at the extreme south-east where Italy shares the border with Slovenia. After a typically long Italian lunch marked with wine and banter, I headed back to Trieste, and watched the city square get ready for the night in its lit-up glory.

Bolzano
I had been promised a slice of Germany in Italy, and I found that in the next town we hit. Bolzano, the capital of the province of South Tyrol, still reflects its Austrian and German influences that it inherited when Italy took over the province that was originally Austrian territory. Upon reaching Bolzano, I first paid my respects to Otzi, the very well preserved, over 5,000 year-old old prehistoric ice man that is on display at the South Tyrol Museum of Archeaology.

I strolled around the medieval city centre with its Gothic and Romanesque churches and down the mile-long street, Lauben, adorned with medieval arcades that now houses high street shops. It didn't take long to smell and unearth the truth behind what made this city special. Right from the special statute that protects the rights of the German minority here to the typical German wheat beer served with traditional Italian food and the bilingual signage across the city, Bolzano is the perfect example of inter-cultural harmony. Before leaving, I indulged in a meal at a trattoria, the informal, family-style Italian eating establishment I love, where there are no printed menus — for the local food and the wine is served from decanters and not bottles!

Trento
I headed to Trento, nestled in the Adige River Valley, and popular for its excellent quality of life. I headed there mainly to see my first castle on this trip. The Castello del Buonconsiglio originated from a fortified building erected in the 13th century next to the city's walls. According to legend, it was connected by a secret tunnel to the city's cathedral which was used by princes and bishops to move unseen between them. I ambled through the fortified walls, and was far more bowled over by its art. I walked down a flight of steps to discover the castle's masterpiece, the Cortile dei Leoni. Girolamo Romanino frescoed, among others, the loggia in the Cortile dei Leoni or the Lions' Court with typical Renaissance themes. I peered at the multiple arches embellished with mythological and ancient Roman episodes along biblical ones and left the castle amazed at this burst of colour inside a rather monochromatic monument.

Ferrara
My final stop was Ferrara that people mistake to be the home town of the Ferrari! A UNESCO World Heritage site, the Castle Estense stands tall. The Palazzo dei Diamanti or the Palace of Diamonds, with its facade of beautifully cut stone blocks shaped like diamonds stood out. I walked down its cobbled lanes and speculated over its quiet atmosphere. At night, the city transformed from a shy bride to a showstopper. Youngsters poured out in animated groups, mothers stepped out with prams and old couples readied for their evening out. Ferrara had a lively vibe. As strangers flashed warm smiles, I realised the decision to stick to the lesser known trail had stood in good faith.

Getting there
There are direct flights to Milan in North Italy where you can hire a car

Best time to go
Summer is a good time but Italy can get hot and crowded. September to December is a great time too.

leisuremirror@indiatimes.com

18.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Beard styles in vogue

While the men love to sport them, the women can't get enough of them. Here's your beard vocab decoded...

Women no longer complain about bearded men. In fact, the fuzz on the face has become the style statement of the day, and what more, it's sexy too! Think Gerard Butler or Kabir Bedi, the beard's always given a man that strikingly macho look and the commanding presence. But before you decide to sport one, make sure you figure out what best suits your face type so as to complement your features. If you don't mind experimenting with your looks, then consult a professional hairstylist to get the perfect style that complements your look. The best thing about sporting a beard is you can always experiment, yet shave them off, should you get bored of sporting that look! Here's your beard vocab

French beard: The most common, yet the most varied. Sport a finely shaped French beard and you have a classic winner! Effective and low maintenance.

Goatee: Goatee is a beard formed by a tuft of hair on the chin. Reminds you of a goat? You got it! That explains the term 'Goatee'. Goatees are quite common too and are peculiar because they give out a different vibe for every varying length. By the way Abraham Lincoln too sported a goatee several times during his presidency. You could pair it up with a Van Dyke which is a goatee with a disconnected moustache. Also called doorknocker or circle beard, this works best for guys who have more facial growth around the mouth area.

Wide goatee: Similar to goatee but the beard extends towards the earlobes. Mutton chops: Name sounds crazy and so does the look unless you want to carry the ultimate mean biker boy look. It's essentially a reverse goatee with a shaved chin. Also, referred to as the stashburn style in some parts of the West.

Sideburn: Want that rockstar look with the least amount of effort? Try the sideburns. Named after an American military officer Burnsides, this style is simple but makes an impression for sure! Sideburns connect the hair on the scalp with the beard. The hair grows from the temple towards the jaw line.

Stubble: Studies have shown that women find men with stubble cool. Nothing beats the casual 5 o'clock shadow. Also called manicured scruff, the stubble is the classic, fail-proof option. Men with stubble come across as tough, mature, masculine and most importantly they make for romantic partners. For those who remember going gaga over Shah Rukh's fuzzy look in Chak De, do we say more?

Chin fuzz: A young David Beckham who was then courting Victoria chose the chin fuzz to charm his lady love. A chin fuzz is a perfect look is for those who do not want to draw attention to their beards. This thin beard is similar to chin strap.

Chin strip: Is a thin strip of hair growth right below the centre of the lips. Sport this style without the moustache.

Soul patch: A small thick patch of hair just below the lip above the chin, it's funky and easy to sport. The first recollection of the soul patch would be Aamir Khan's memorable look from Dil Chahta Hai. Sure enough, that did spread like wildfire!

Balbo: This is a disconnected goatee with facial hair on the chin. This beard is sure to give men a different look. You must try it to believe it! Ready for a makeover?

Full beard: The classic! Nothing beats a full face of hair. Of course, we're not asking you to look like the Yeti's long lost cousin. Make sure that when you grow a full beard, it's regularly introduced to a trim session. After all, you don't want to kill the sexy in the beard with a 'beary' bad moniker.

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Settling into your new home

Decorate using what you already have.

The movers have just left and you're surrounded by boxes of stuff that looked great in your old house, but you have no clue how it will all come together at your new home. Think out of the box — literally.

Just because a furniture piece worked one way before doesn't mean it can't have an even better use in this new home. To make a warm, inviting environment, professional arrangers suggest you maximise the use of the furniture, art and accessories you already own.

Fresh Ideas
Analyse your belongings. Consider using some of the furniture in a fresh and altered presentation. A favourite living room chair may be more at home in a bedroom, or a dining room cabinet may work nicely in a living room as a focal point. Look to your bedrooms for a nightstand that might fill the role nicely. A day bed could serve double duty in a family room. A wine rack can hold towels or even a collection.

Be smart when downsizing
Each change leads to different decorating challenges. When downsizing, it is really advantageous to utilise usual pieces in unusual ways. Small rooms can take a very large piece of furniture so don't discount that family armoire too soon. You can still keep your favourite buffet, if it fits, in the entry. An umbrella stand upside down may make a great home for a plant. If your new home has a larger living room, avoid spreading your furniture out too far to fill the room. Consider two groupings, perhaps a primary one for conversation and then a smaller, more intimate area for a dinner for two or a reading area. This arrangement will help maintain a feeling of warmth.

Make your own store
As you unpack your moving boxes, try placing your art, lamps and accessories in one room, preferably in groups of like items or colour. By doing this you will create your own 'store' of goodies to use when adding the decorating details to your home.

Now you can make your new nest cozy and warm with your existing stuff!

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Reading ‘Love Letters’ with Om Puri, Divya Dutta

If love cannot be defined, then a love story too transcends fixed and logical meanings.

A love story ends on a note of despair, sometimes loss, death or tragedy at other times, but seldom does it end with our favourite cliche, 'happily-ever-after.' While Romeo and Juliet's love does not live for long beyond the balcony, Antony and Cleopatra's kiss of love is poisoned by Octavius Caesar, Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler's passion is one inch short to permanence, Laila and Majnu are forced to part ways and Salim and Anarkali's blossoming romance was doomed from the beginning. Amrita Nigam and Zulfikar Haidar is yet another pair whose love was perhaps meant to be unrequited but also, eternal and exemplary at the same time. 35 years of life lived together through letters, letters that brought them close, letters that moved them away from each other and letters that securely enveloped a romance unknown to the ignorant world.

'Teri Amrita', a Punjabi play (translated by Amrik Gill and directed by veteran actor and thespian Om Puri), originally written by Javed Siddiqui titled 'Tumhari Amrita' is an adaptation of American playwright A R Gurney's 'Love Letters' (1988). Recently staged at the Shri Ram Centre for Arts and Culture (SRCAC) in Delhi over four consecutive days, the play 'Teri Amrita' ran to packed houses in the evenings of this chilly December month.

An unfinished letter, an incomplete love story

There are two chairs, two tables and heaps of letters upon which written, are words, waiting to be read, heard, lived and loved. Draped in a red and black saree, actress Divya Dutta breathed life into the character of Amrita Nigam, an artist whose paintings were an expression of her passionate self; and a free-spirited woman often misunderstood and condemned by society for her 'antics'. Om Puri, on the other, looked radiant in a white cotton chikankari kurta-pyjama and well-suited the persona of Zulfikar Haidar, a student of Civil Services until he stumbles upon law as his true calling and eventually ends up a bureaucrat and an important political figure during the pre-independence years.

The year is 1940 and it is Amrita's eighth birthday party, also, a beginning of a friendship that is to last seasons, birthdays and festivals spanning 35 years. Writing letters to each other becomes so intrinsic to the lives of Amrita and Zulfi that when they find nothing new to say to each other, the letter just reads, 'Happy New Year' or a 'Happy Birthday'. On days when Amrita is unhappy or upset to learn that Zulfi would miss her yet another art exhibition due to political engagements, she would either resolve not to send anymore letters or pen abuses to her lover. A little cajoling from Zulfi in his next letter would be enough to get her back to writing to him.

'Will you marry me Zulfi?'

To believe that only marriage can consummate love would be an affront to a relationship that is beyond societal dictates. When Amrita writes, 'Mujhse Shaadi Karoge Zulfi' (Will you marry me Zulfi), Zulfi is left thinking about how he should articulate his reply. "To write your name, Amrita on this white sheet of paper is like giving direction to a lover lost on an empty road," writes Zulfi trying to tell Amrita that they were married from the day they exchanged their first letter. But he gets married, not to Amrita but another woman after he gives into his parents' wishes. Whether it was the difficult proposition of a Hindu-Muslim marriage during the partition years that prevented the union of Amrita and Zulfi one doesn't know, but one surely could not question the purity and intensity of a bond destined to be etched in the memory of successive generations.

'I cannot marry you Zulfi'

But there were uncomfortable questions when one fateful day a journalist caught hold of Amrita's letter addressed to Zulfi. The possession of Amrita's letter became a weapon to malign the political image of Zulfi and also ridicule the status of a woman (Amrita) who had lost her family to fatal health conditions and resorted to alcohol and her canvas for company. Amrita had toured almost the entire world with her paintings exhibited in New York, Rome and elsewhere. However, she began to lose her vision and failed to distinguish red from black, "Instead of red, I painted a black sunset Zulfi," she wrote. Given the circumstances, Zulfi proposes marriage to Amrita to save both her and him from filthy conspiracies, but Amrita refuses. "Your wife and little child had come to visit me. You cannot do something against your family. I cannot marry you," she signs off.

The last letter

Amrita dies. Zulfi writes a letter to the journalist urging him to publish not one but all the letters exchanged between him and Amrita over 35 years so that the love of his life is not (mis)judged for a single letter but understood fully as a person that she truly was.

There's humour, sorrow, pain and pathos in this play, a play where two actors have nothing but their voices and dialogues to weave a story.

With actors like Om Puri and Divya Dutta on stage, every dialogue immediately became an image in the mind; such was the power of their theatrical genius.

On clinical terms Amrita may have died due to an alcohol overdose but in reality she died because she began to find death dearer than life.

She was not just Amrita; she was Zulfi's Amrita, 'Teri Amrita'.

History of 'Teri Amrita'

Shabana Azmi and Farooq Sheikh have been performing 'Tumhari Amrita' for almost two decades now. When director Feroz Abbas Khan first staged 'Tumhari Amrita' in 1992 at Prithvi Theatre, Mumbai, as a tribute to Jennifer Kapoor on her birthday, little could he foresee that the play would be celebrated for over than 20 years. Om Puri and Divya Dutta first performed the play at Rose Theatre, Ontario, Canada, where the former made a comeback to theatre after 25 years while it was the latter's debut performance as a theatre artist.

ipshita.mitra@indiatimes.co.in

18.47 | 0 komentar | Read More