Know your man before you tie the knot

Written By Unknown on Sabtu, 06 September 2014 | 18.47

Do you think he is the one for you? Before you reach a decision here's something you should ask yourself.

Marriages are made in heaven, or so they say. But there are no rules against asking yourself a few cautionary questions before you say yes to this lifelong commitment.

Is he too clingy — If he is, then you need to talk. No matter how lovey-dovey it seems in the beginning, it slowly starts to get on your nerves. Especially when you come home tired after a day's work, everyone needs their own space to relax and just breathe. Make sure you talk to him and put it across that you need that one hour of alone time, no matter what.

The 3 dreaded words: "like my mom" — We are all aware of the Freudian concept of Oedipus complex, but facing it in your everyday life is a completely different ball game. Most men like to see a reflection of their mother in their women, and the constant references to his mother's culinary skills when you've cooked him a special dish are signs you ought not to neglect. Let him know that you appreciate his love for his mother, and that you'd be glad if your children loved you the same way, but at the same time the added pressure of the comparison makes you feel less of yourself. Trust me, he will understand.

Willing to share the meal but not the cooking — In an essentially Patriarchal society, men are the principal bread earner of the family while women take care of the chores at home. But today it's a vague concept. If women are going out to work, it's crucial that the men should help around in the house too. Talk to him and figure out a system to share the house work, if you've done the cooking, make sure he does the dishes and vice versa.

The indecisive kind — From seemingly small things like choosing from the menu in a restaurant to which shirt to wear for work, men often agonise over making decisions. If you have to decide for him at every point, it's high time you sit and discuss things with a calm head. Its one thing to take your opinion, to rely on your decision is another. You need to make sure he is not on the wrong end of the spectrum.

Often the tiniest of discomforts lead to the biggest discrepancies. The simplest and most effective solution is to sit and talk, discuss each other's points of view, and decide a common ground that's comfortable for both. There is nothing a heartfelt talk can't sort out.

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