She said, "You're not pregnant! Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? No. Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No." This video not just went viral, but also generated a lot of response from couples across the world supporting and negating the fact. However, there are a few couples, who like to move into this phase of parenthood together, right from the day the baby is conceived, while some do agree with Kunis. Here's how couples in the city decipher the 'we're pregnant' phrase.
Those for 'We'
For young couples, the phrase is much more meaningful and defines the depth of their relationship. They feel that this phrase redefines the way going in for baby would be, as of now. "Couples wish to go into this phase of 'preparing for the baby by doing everything together — be it travelling to work or eating the same kind of food. Many husbands these days make it a point to follow the same lifestyle as their pregnant wives," says Jigyasa Pandya, a counsellor.
Real-life instances
IT engineer Neeraj Shetty has quit drinking, since the time the couple decided to have a baby. A decision initiated by his wife Ratri, Neeraj accepted it without a second thought. "Both Neeraj and I are party animals. There was not a single weekend that passed without drinks and smoke. However, when we decided to have a baby, I was pretty sure about quitting drinking and smoking at least three months prior to conceiving the baby. The best part is that Neeraj agreed to do the same and it has indeed been a good decision. He believes that the father is equally responsible for the child and should give up on some things for a healthy baby," says Ratri.
While another dynamic couple Glinda and Noel Fernandes had adopted an organic lifestyle for their baby. The couple had resorted to pure organic food, thanks to Glinda's mother who has an entire terrace garden of fruits and vegetables. "We did not eat anything that contains chemicals and fertilizers; even the grocery we bought was organic (rice and nachni was sent to them every four months from their native place). Moreover, we had stopped going to malls or theatres for recreation. We usually went for a walk nearby or a drive, if I felt like exploring nature. We indulged in regular yoga practices as well," says Glinda. "Yes 'we' both were pregnant, except for the fact that I didn't go through labour, but I tried by best to step into her shoes and adopt a lifestyle that ensured we had a healthy baby."
In most cases, men enjoy their usual luxuries, but women have to give up on a lot, however men these days want to experience fatherhood right from the time it is planned. They do not mind making small lifestyle changes to assure their wives that they are not going through all this, alone.
The 'Naysayers'
This is a feeling that most to-be-mothers get, since the entire experience leaves them flustered, and the fact that she has to go through a lot of pain. "Only by posting a status that 'We are expecting a baby' on a social networking site or reading up doesn't qualify them to say, 'We're pregnant'," says Ragini Kundra, a marriage counsellor. She adds that women reason this out by saying that men do not undergo anything close to what women do during pregnancy, be it the morning sickness, severe nausea, losing control of the bladder, labour pain, etc. Most women also complain of their husband's absence when all this is happening to them.
Real-life instances
"It's not about taking care of us or accompanying us to the doctor; neither is it about reading books or feeding our cravings, it's about the simple biological impossibility. Men would never know what it feels like to carry around so much weight (it tears you apart) or vomit your lungs out throughout the night and then go to work in the morning, just to save enough leaves post child birth. Hence the phrase 'We're pregnant holds no significance for them," says Kranti Pote, a professor. Moreover, most men don't change anything in their lifestyle, be it drinking, smoking or partying with friends. This is one of the most important reasons women think the 'we're pregnant' phrase doesn't hold any truth.
In fact, many women also say that this phrase can be shared with their mothers, but not with their husbands. Sapna Gehlot, who gave birth to her second child last year, says that her mother spent an entire year with the couple during both her pregnancies. "She was the one who would be up at odd hours while I was vomiting, held my hand during contractions, made sure I get to eat whatever I craved for as well as took care of my baby for the first two months, so that I could cope up with the postpartum issues. My husband was just financially present and yes, he made sure I was treated like a princess during both my pregnancies, but nothing more than that. That doesn't qualify them to use this phrase, I think motherhood is both physically and mentally draining for the mother, fathers don't experience anything like that ever."
Balancing act
"Both these sets of people and their arguments are justified as they have their own logical reasoning to it. However, I feel it is out of love that a husband likes to take ownership of their baby, and say, 'We're pregnant'. This is much better, looking at cases where women in some families, however affluent or educated they are, are solely responsible for their child and have no escape of household chores or other duties if they are physically unfit for the same. Husbands saying, `We're pregnant' are just trying to be more helpful and familiar with the problems women go through and try to share their feeling," says Satej Rathod, a clinical psychologist.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/followceleb.cms?alias=pregnant wives,pregnant,couple,child,baby
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