They say never mix friendship and work. But there are times when colleagues end up being great friends. And at other times, two friends can be at the same department in the same workplace. So what when, post the last appraisal, your friend earns a hike in position and is in turn promoted as your boss? The dynamics of your friendship will certainly change, even if not drastically. Here's how to deal with the situation and preserve the relationship with your friend-suddenly-turned-boss.
1. Accept the change: The scheme of things will change and it is important that you accept it. Learn to be professional at work. Respect your boss even if he/she is a friend. Also, maintain professional detachment.
2. Kill the green-eyed monster: More often than not, it is envy that ruins equations. So, if you feel you deserved that promotion more than your friend, evaluate the situation instead of cribbing about it. Says clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Varkha Chulani, "If you feel your friend did not deserve that promotion, check if your assessment is objective and not based on jealousy." Talk to your superiors to understand where you lack. If nothing works, start looking for a new job.
3. Nothing is personal: Be mature about your friend's promotion and handle it in a mature, professional manner. Remember, personal vendetta is not to be fulfilled at the workplace. Says Chulani, "Just because your friend is your boss, it shouldn't be difficult for you to take instructions from him/her."
4. Compartmentalise: A friend is a friend and a boss is a boss. Learn to differentiate between the two. Dr Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, explains, "Initially, it might be difficult to draw that line, but try it. Do not expect the sensitivity of a friend from your boss in office." Adds Chulani, "Just because your boss is your friend, do not assume he/she would condone unexpected behaviour or under-performance."
5. No bossing outside: Have an agreement on how the 'I'm-The-Boss' rule doesn't apply outside office. Hingorrany says, "It is common to see the boss mentality syndrome setting in sometimes. So, keep a check on that and tell your friend to end his/her authoritativeness post work." Also, steer clear of work-related conversations after office hours.
6. A two-way deal: You can't clap with one hand. Your boss-cum-buddy should also put in equal effort to keep your friendship going strong. And if that does not happen, detach yourself and just be cordial.
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