It's easy to land a date, but only the lucky few manage to get the women out on a second date. Why, you ask? Because men (being men) are unable to get themselves together long enough to leave a good first impression. Here's a short guide to help you get through the evening with flying colours.
Control the roving eye
You are sitting at a cafe on your first date and a hot woman walks in (let's not get into whether she's hotter than your date on not). Her curls are hanging loose on her shoulders and she has a smile that has the potential to make your heart stop. What do you do? Let your eyes linger on her for longer than a fraction of a second and your date (with the woman who is sitting on the table with you?) is over. Oh, she may chat and smile through the coffee, but be rest assured, she isn't likely to meet you again. EVER.
Here's the thing, women are keen watchers of the male of our species. And when we are sizing up men as potential partners, we keep a close watch on what they are watching. So, if you want a second date, keep your eyes affixed on the menu and your date.
And, if you think this means it's okay to check the football scores on your phone during the date — it's not a woman right, you say — why don't you just spend the rest of your life with the TV? If you want a date, focus on her and her alone.
Be a gentleman
Women may crib that chivalry is dead, but we haven't ended our search for it. A study conducted in 2007 among British women showed that of the 1,000 surveyed, two-thirds placed manners over looks in defining the man of their dreams. While this doesn't mean standing up when your date enters the room, or laying to waste your expensive jacket by placing it as a carpet over Mumbai's puddles, you will score brownie points with simpler gestures.
Turn up early but if you are going to be unavoidably late, call ahead and let her know. While entering and exiting the restaurant, open the door for her. If you are getting into a cab, open that door too. Don't expect her to scooch. If the traffic is not heavy, get in from the other side. If you want to see her again, call her the day after the first date and thank her for the lovely evening. If you wait till the next weekend, she knows it's only a booty call and will, hopefully, turn you down.
Conversation no nos
Do you want her talking to you about her ex-boyfriends and how they messed her up? Well, she isn't enthused about knowing about your girlfriends either. Not on the first date at least. If the topic comes up, brush past it. This will make her think that she's the only one on your mind. Don't probe her about her exes either. Secondly: Jokes are always an easy ice-breaker, but if crude jokes are your punchlines, relegate them, strictly, to your instant messaging group. On the first date, women (and men) try to understand each other's sensibilities, and try to discover what they may have in common. What if the joke is on a certain community that she is a part of? Do you want to risk offending her? Thirdly: "What's up sunshine?" This is what a date (a blind date at that) messaged the woman right after the second date. And if you don't know what's wrong with this, you need some serious help. It's not that women don't like terms of endearment, but spoken too soon, they will scare off the woman. Lastly: The week may have been horrid. Your boss may have yelled at you every day. Your friends may have ditched you for their partners/spouses, your expensive Playstation may have crashed. But if this means you can whine about it to your date, you are horribly wrong. You need to be fun and charming on your first night out. Nothing puts off a woman more than a whiner she's stuck with through the night. Phishing for sympathy can happen later.
Being Mr Know-it-all
You may have won all the quizzes in school and think calling for the 'cheque' is more correct than calling for the 'bill'. But if you point this out to your date, be ready to be the subject of a bitching session that's going to happen between your date and her bestie. After the date.
Women don't like men projecting confidence at their expense and will associate the date with feelings. Remember your goal through the date is to make her smile and show her what good company you are, not give her lessons on language or politics.
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