Being a parent needn't ring a death knell for your sex life, but it is wise to keep the two apart. While it's important that children witness moments of love and sharing between parents — holding hands, cuddling, and sharing a light kiss — it's important to figure what's appropriate around them and not. Here's a guide to striking a balance, and how you should react if you are caught out.
Your baby is 10 months old
Your baby is old enough to stand upright in its crib, and watch the two of you get intimate. Worse, it's staring at you and gurgling. Should you stop? Experts say, keep at it. Until your baby is about two years old, it won't register what's going on. But, with kids around, it's tough to slip into heady passion. Moms find it especially tough. If you can't slip into another room, distract your baby with a toy.
Your baby is a pre-schooler
Some three year-olds with a separate room still prefer to crawl into bed with their parents, especially during moments of insecurity. "I had a bad dream!" is a favourite. If you are in the middle of canoodling, and your child walks in, stop. You should not be having sex in front of your kids. That's the rule. Shift to another room or wait till it falls asleep.
Your baby is four, and walks into the shower
You've decided to shower together, when you baby walks in. It wants to know what's going on, and might even point to a private part and get curious about it. Don't freak out at being seen naked. It's your child, after all. When it is old enough to tell you it is not comfortable seeing the two of you like this, it will tell you anyway. Read the cues.
Your baby is five, and swings open the door
A five year-old is not old enough to make the right connections, and could misinterpret what's going on. It interprets movement differently from adults. If your child sleeps in a neighbouring room, make sure your door is locked. In case, it walks in on the two of you making out, don't lie. Say you were enjoying private time, slip on your clothes, and share a tight hug of reassurance.
Your child is seven, and playing a video game
Older kids need to be told gently that parents need private time, without going into the details. So, in case it jumps up from a session of playing video games, and bangs on the door, demanding you open up, ask it to wait, slip on your clothes, and have a chat when you are out. Sharing the importance of knocking before entering will work wonders.
Your child is ten, and has friends over
When kids are older, and especially when they are with someone else's kids, it's important to ensure that they do not see or hear too much. It can confuse and upset them. If your child is in the adjoining room watching a movie with friends, make sure you keep the television in your room on to drown out any whoops of passion.
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