Spending quality time with your children is crucial for their development and happiness. But whether it's the demands of a new job, a baby in the family, or we just need to spring clean the house, parents always seem to be wishing they had more time for their offspring. Does that mean we don't love them? Of course it doesn't.
But most kids long to spend more time with their parents. So here's how to make the most of the time that you have with them.
Hugs
Even the busiest of parents should be able to find time for a three-second hug, whether it's first thing in the morning, straight after work or a longer cuddle before they settle down for bed. Sometimes, affection can be the fail-safe way to stop bad behaviour. It can lift spirits and change attitudes for both parents and their children and it's been proven that kids feed off affection from their parents.
They will carry that special feeling around with them for a long time afterwards — especially when you're at work.
Family meetings
You only need to set aside around half an hour each week to see the benefits of these get-togethers. Kids feel more loved when they are listened to and taken seriously. They are also more likely to follow the rules if they feel they've been involved in creating them.
Ask for help
After a busy day at the office, the list of jobs to do when you come home can seem never-ending and setting aside time for kids seems an impossible task. So, try getting them involved in household chores, especially toddlers, who like to help with the dusting or setting the table. Ask little ones to pair up clean socks.
Set a date
Kids feel special when they know time with them is just as important to you as the appointments in your diary. Very young children need 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time with you every day and after the age of six, 30 minutes to an hour. You shouldn't feel guilty at other times when you're too busy or too tired. Wake them 15 minutes earlier so you can do something together.
Try to persuade teenagers to go out with you once a month — but don't be disheartened if they shun you for their mates!
Share
When tucking your child into bed at night, take a few minutes to ask them about the happiest and saddest parts of their day. Don't try to find solutions, just listen. Then share yours. You may be surprised to hear the things they say.
Love letters
"Roses are red, violets are blue, every day I think about you..." Write short notes and slip them into a child's lunchbox, or leave one under their pillow. It will remind them that you're never far away and they're always in your thoughts.
Take them for a ride
You get home, the kids are bursting to see you, but you quickly realise there isn't a slice of bread or a drop of milk in the house. Take the kids along with you, just so you can spend as much time as possible together. During these trips, be a closed listener (don't ask questions). Let them know you're glad to have a few moments with them.
It's good to talk
When spending time with your child, try talking to them instead of playing. Ask about their day and talk about yours, too. They'll appreciate you taking interest in their day. Just avoid moaning about a boss or colleague — it could be awkward if they ever visit your house!
Table manners
Try to have a family dinner every day where everyone interacts. Be prepared to pay attention to your child's way of speaking, especially if he or she is a teenager. They don't tend to speak often so make the most of it when they do.
Unplug
The computer is probably the biggest time-waster for adults (and kids) in the evening. During and after dinner, get off the Net, turn off the TV and switch off your mobile. Get back to basics with a family game night. Emails can wait until the morning.
Story time
Younger kids love listening to their mum or dad read to them and studies have shown that reading with children will help them to read, too. It only takes a few minutes to read a book or two. And once they've fallen asleep, you could snooze too.
Get organised
Find ways to become more efficient and leave work on time. You will be less stressed and arrive home happy and prepared to spend time with the kids. Work and home life can be one big juggling act and mums and dads need to recharge their batteries now and then. Pick a time to do something enjoyable and don't feel guilty about it. Happy parents create happy children, exhausted and frazzled ones don't.
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